The Summer of My Demon Lover
by PublicDisaster
Summary: The summer Kagome Higurashi turned 16 is one that she will never forget. When a group of Demon prisoners are sent to her home village, she finds herself helping the most dangerous one of all, not to mention falling in love with him. SessKag
1. My Secret Hideaway

_Sorry if you thought that there was a second chapter (author alerts) but I had to make it seem that way so everyone could read the new first chapter. It was brought to my attention by a reviewer and again by one of my good friends (who betas for me sometimes) that the begining of the chapter was rushed (well my friend pointed out what exactly was rushed) so I fixed it today. It's not that much different, but you may want to read it anway._

_Okay this is my new fic, this first chapter will be a lot shorter than the others, so sorry. This story was inspired by the book "The Summer of My German Soldier." by Bette Greene, but it will not be that much like the book. I hope you like this._

**_WARNING: My spelling is bad, and lime-ish content will be in this fic._**

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha or "The Summer of My German Soldier"_**

"Kagome, child. Where are ye heading off to at this hour?" an old, but kind woman asked while setting a bowl of rice down on a wooden table  
  
A second later you could see a fairly young girl run into the kitchen like she was on fire. She was quite pretty with her shoulder-length black hair and blue eyes.  
  
"I'm going down to the market to help out chichi." Kagome answered as she ran past her old nanny  
  
Kaede caught her by the collar and pulled her back to the kitchen table. Kagome got her message, though she was not happy about it she sat down and began to eat her breakfast.  
  
"You know your father does not like ye going down there. Remember what happened last time?" Kaede said as she stirred a pot of miso soup  
  
Kagome swallowed the rice she had been eating and rubbed a spot on her side. It was a burn mark that her father had given to her after she was "rude" to a customer. She hated her father most of the time, but then she would remember when she was little and how much he loved her then, and she couldn't bring herself to hate him anymore.  
  
"Hai, but this time I will be careful and speak like a proper young lady." Kagome said with a big smile while she went over her plan to impress her father, she had been practicing being a proper lady for over a week now  
  
"Honestly, I doubt that ye will ever speak like a proper young lady, Kagome. You have such a wild spirit, one that you have no business locking away." Kaede said as she made another bowl on the table  
  
"It's not like I will I'm selling my soul, I just want to help out and not get a beating out of it." Kagome said with a frown, she got beat at least once a week, but so far she had not gotten one beating this week and she took it as a good sign  
  
"What about Sara-sama? She will be there too, and you know how much she likes to see you punished." Kaede said, placing a hand on Kagome's shoulder in a grandmotherly fashion that made Kagome feel at least a little loved  
  
"You're right, but I have to try anyway, it's what my mother would have done." Kagome said as she continued to eat, thinking about everything that could go wrong today and how to avoid it  
  
"Ye be right about that. Your mama would have done the same thing, and I know she is smiling at you from the afterlife, proud as can be of how well her little girl is growing up." Kagome smiled when Kaede said that, she loved hearing about her mother, and talking about her  
  
"Nee-chan!" a little boy about the age of six come down the stairs and ran to Kagome, giving her wait a big hug  
  
"Souta-chan, go and eat before your food gets cold." Kagome said, though her words coming out harsher than she ment them to  
  
Kaede gave her a look, she to heard the harsh-ness in her voice, but Souta seemed oblivious as he went and began to eat his own breakfast.  
  
"I'm going now. I'll be back for lunch, bai bai Kaede-san, Souta-chan." Kagome said she ran out of the kitchen door, she felt bad for how she had treated her little brother, but she did not want to dwell on it too much  
  
"That child, one of these days she will make them see who she really is."  
  
Kagome's POV   
  
The weather outside was nice and warm, with a cool breeze every once in a while. The sun shone bright, and the leaves swayed about in the air. It was the perfect day for a long walk, and maybe even a picnic if it stayed this nice until at least lunch. I loved walking by myself, it gave me a chance to think about everything. Like my father, and why he hates me so much. He says that I remind him of my mother, and that she was a no good whore that never loved me. I know that he's wrong, but it still hurts to hear all of those things.  
  
My stepmother is even worse, she calls me and my mother all kinds of names, yet she had never ever met my mother and she doesn't know me. All she knows is that I am my father's first born daughter from his first wife, the woman that everyone loved, the woman that died to save her daughter. It was so long ago, or so it seems, in reality it was seven years ago when I was eight, my mother took me out for a walk as an early birthday celebration. We walked for an hour in the forest, talking about everything, but it came to a stop when a youkai showed up. We ran, but he caught me, my mother could have kept running but she came back for me, she faced the youkai so I could get away, she died so that I could live.  
  
I know that is why my father hates me, he blames me for my mother's death, and I blame myself. She would be alive if I had not insisted on taking a walk in the forest, she would be here if I was not so selfish. My father would love me if I would have just kept my mouth shut and stayed in the damn house.  
  
"This always happens." I found myself saying as I wiped away the tears that had begun to fall without me knowing  
  
I tried to stop thinking about it, but the quiet made my mind wander. I looked around myself, I somehow managed to walk myself straight to the spot that my mother had died. Our favorite spot. We spent a whole month making a shelter here, our secret place that no one knew about. It had taken a lot of hard work, but we got it done before my birthday. We spent hours in there while my father was at work, it was the best time of my life. I have not been there since the day she died, I could not bring myself to step foot near here since that dreadful day.  
  
"Since I'm here, I might as well look around." I said as I dried the rest of my tears and walked towards the door that he had hidden behind a giant tree  
  
I tried to open the door, it was stuck from not being used for so many years, but after a minute I got it opened. I expected it to be dusty, and for there to be spider webs, and there was. Of course, there was also a silver haired man asleep on the floor, and of course I screamed because said silver haired man was asleep on the floor.  
  
Before I knew what had happened, I was being pressed against the wall by the silver haired man and his dare I say, nice body.  
  
"Shut up girl, and I may let you walk out of here with your life." he said through clenched teeth, and god he looked good when he was in a murderous mood  
  
Of course, being who I am, bit his hand and began to yell louder when he pulled it away. It didn't last long though, he had his hand back in place before I could say something that my stepmother would call "naughty".  
  
"Did I not tell you to shut up?" he asked slowly, with a lot of suppressed anger in his voice  
  
I nodded my head, thinking now that it was best not to make him mad, or even more mad than he already was.  
  
"I am going to take my hand away, but you start screaming again, I will kill you. Do you understand?" he asked, and then began to pull his hand away after I nodded  
  
As I promised I did not scream, but that didn't stop me from scowling at him.  
  
"Stop that, it is distracting and not in the least threatening" he said as she sat down in one of the wooden chairs that my mother had made special for me  
  
"Could you not sit there." I asked in a low voice, one that I never thought I could make  
  
"And why should I not sit in this chair?" he asked with a bored expression, well if you could even call it that  
  
"Well, for one thing my mother made me that chair, and I don't want your fat ass breaking it." I screamed at him, though he told me not to, I had to  
  
"I will give you one more chance to be quiet before I kill you, you are amusing me." he said, but did not get up  
  
"Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you leave, doesn't that sound like so much fun?" I said with my special fake enthusiasm, this guy was irritating me  
  
He raised an eyebrow at me, and that's when I finally got a good look at him. He had pointed ears, markings oh his face, and claws.  
  
"Wait, you're a youkai?" I asked, my legs no longer able to hold me up, I fell right on my butt, and it did not feel good  
  
"Very perceptive." he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm  
  
"I thought that all of the youkai that were left were in the camps." I said it more to myself, but with his hearing he heard me as clear as day, damn youkai hearing  
  
"Yes, but not this youkai."  
  
I was scared when he said that, but not because of his voice, oh no. It was the sadistic little smile he had on his face that scared the shit out of me.

_I told you it was short, but the next one will be a lot longer, I promise. I love reviews and emails...really...I do_


	2. Shattered

I'm back, this chapter is longer and out faster, go me. Thanks for the reviews.****

WARNING: Lime and violence, spelling and grammar fixed by Roadkill2580!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, "The Summer of My German Soldier", or the song "Breathe No More".

* * *

I couldn't stop the scream that came when the demon intruder pushed me back against the wall. He still had that smile on his face, as if daring me to try something, and I met the dare, right between his legs.

"You would think that would hurt more." he said calmly, but I saw the wince through his eyes

"Yes, but at least it hurt." I spoke up, somehow forgetting that he was capable of killing me in a single shot

I expected him to yell at me, or hit me, but instead all he did was laugh. Not a very loud laugh, but still a laugh.

"You really are an amusing creature. Years ago I would have kept you as a pet, but it seems this world as evolved for the worst." he said, still holding me to the wall.

"Maybe for you, but I rather like it." I said and did there most childish thing ever, I stuck my tongue out at him

"Child, I will advise you to never do that again unless you would like it bitten off." he seemed serious, but he was laughing again when I made a disgusted face, so he couldn't have been that serious.

"Demon with big butt, I advise you to let me down, because if you think I'm annoying now, just wait." I said again without thinking, but I was seriously getting mad.

"You do realize that is the second time that you have mentioned my butt, do you like it that much?" the arrogant son-of-a-bitch said with another one of those annoying smirks.

"Hardly." I snorted in a disgusted way, at least that was what I was going for.

I was so busy staring at him that I did not notice him letting me go, so for the second time in the last ten minutes, I fell on my butt.

"Itai!" I screamed at the thud and more so at the pain.

I sat there and kicked the floor in the standard three-year-old tantrum throwing fashion. This seemed to either amuse him or shock him, either way he was quiet as I let out some of my frustration.

"You, child, get more and more amusing each moment. Are you always like this?" he asked as he sat down, again, in MY chair.

"Of course not, god my father would kill me if I always acted like this. Now get out of my damn chair!" I didn't really think (again) when I said that first part, and the second part, hell I never think before I speak.

The step-bitch told me something once, and she may have actually been right. She said if I kept speaking before thinking that one day it would get me killed, but I figured if that was true it would happen when I was a bit older, but not today.

"Why would he kill you for acting this way?" asks the youkai that was just holding me to a wall for yelling and being my annoying self.

"I don't know, why don't you go and ask him, or better yet ask yourself since you've threatened to kill me more than once!" I huffed and turned away from him, still sitting on the floor where I fell.

"True, but that was for something different, and I am a youkai, not your father." he actually made some kind of sense when he said that, but I still wanted to fight him on it, for some reason.

"You are so irritating! All I wanted to do today was go and help my father, make him see that I have some sort of manners and not get a beating this week!" I was mad, really mad, so mad that I told a strange, murderous youkai my biggest secret.

"People still beat their young? I thought this would have changed by now." he obviously hasn't been around people very much for a long, long time.

"Oh yes, all of the time, nothing unusual about it at all." except that was a lie.

Sure some people whipped their children here and there, but no one I knew of beat their children the way my father did me.

"Such barbaric creatures. Even youkai do not punish their children that way, of course we are a lot stronger."

Arrogant ass! Thinks he's so much better than my race, ha! Who has who locked up?

"Yeah well, we can't all be arrogant assholes." I had to fight sticking my tounge out again, because for some reason this guy brought out the most childish sides in me.

"You would have made an interesting pet, maybe some day when youkai rule again." he said with another laugh, I hate his laugh, so cute and so humiliating.

Cute. I must have a fever, or I went insane. Yes, I went insane from all of the falling and being pushed aginst walls. Or better yet, I'm lying in bed right now recovering from something I did to anger my father, it does make sense.

"You know what. You stay and I'll go." I finally gave in, I just wanted out.

I got up off of my sore butt and began to walk to the door.

"Stop." a single word command, and like a smart idiot I listened.

"Nani?" I asked, not looking at him.

"Come back later, we can talk some more, you truly do amuse me. But do not tell anyone where I am, or I really will have to kill you."

Gawr, evil, evil youkai with really pretty hair.

"Fine, but only for a little while. I still have to live with my father, at least for two more years, and I'd rather not make him angry by staying out late." I said as I turned back to look at the smirking evil of all evil.

"Fair enough."

And with that said I left him alone, in my secret hideaway, sitting in MY chair, evil! He made me so mad with as little as a laugh or a smile, and now thinking back on that smile, it kind of made my heart melt, but only a little!

"Great Kagome, you think a demon is cute, if your father ever found out…" I shuddered at the thought

I would get the biggest beating of my life if my father ever found out about what had just happened. I could feel it now, and believe me, I wouldn't feel good again for weeks, maybe even months.

"So I just have to make sure he doesn't find out."

Easier said than done. He always seems to find out everything I do, everyone I'm with, everything about me, yet he doesn't know me. He doesn't know that I have a passion for reading and art work, or that my favorite flowers are lilies, just like my mother. That is one thing he knows though, I look exactly like my mother did when she was my age. I have the same hair and eye color as her, as well as her bone structure.

"I miss you so much mama, I wish that you were here, then maybe I could have had a normal childhood."

I didn't even notice that I was crying until the wind began to blow, the cool air made my watery eyes cold and dried my face a bit. The anniversary of my mother's death was in a few weeks, along with my birthday, the day she died, the day my father stopped loving me. That day is no longer a celebration, it is now a day of pain, mostly mine.

"My yearly 'nearly beaten to death day' is coming up, I wonder if he will use glass like last year."

Every year on my birthday my father almost beats me to death, it's the only present I ever get, it's the only one I'm allowed, because I am such a menace to this family, because I got my mother killed. I started crying even more, so instead of doing what I had originally planned, I turned around and ran back into the forest, but this time heading for the lake.

The lake was another place that my mother loved to take me, we did everything together, she was the perfect mother, and at that time I thought I was the perfect daughter. The lake did not have a name, but it also did not need one. It's beauty said more than a name could ever hope to, the water was so clear you could see straight to the bottom. The way the trees surrounded it and the birds sang, you would think that you had died and went to heaven.

"One day I will meet mama there." I said with a sigh as I sat down at the edge of the water

I took my shoes off and dipped my feet in, the water was perfect today, not too cold, but not too hot. I sighed again as I laid back and looked up at the sky, it was still very early

"I should be fine here, at least until father dearest gets home."

* * *

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.  
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.

"Kagome!" a voiced called out.

"KAGOME!!" it called out again, more demanding and very angry

I bolted up when I realized that it was my father and that he was calling my name. I took my feet out of the water and put my shoes back on.

"Oh shit, I fell asleep." I thought as I hurried away from the lake, taking a shortcut back to my house

All the little pieces falling, shatter.  
Shards of me, To sharp to put back together.  
To small to matter, But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.

I ran as fast I could, and was a bit relieved when I could no longer hear my fathers angry voice. It took me fives minutes to get home, and boy did my legs hurt. I snuck up to my window as quietly as I could and opened it, it took me a second to climb in due to the fact that I had just ran all the way here and I was tired and ached in many places I had no idea that I had.

If I try to touch her,  
And I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no more. 

As quietly as I could I took my shoes off and walked over to my bed, the lights were off so that was one less thing for me to do. In the dark I dressed in my night clothes, trying my best to be quiet, and then climbed into bed. I thought I had gotten away with it, at least until tomorrow, but I knew I was wrong when I heard my father come home.

"She's in her room, I heard the window." the step-bitch said in that voice, that evil sadistic little voice

God I hate that voice, and the person that owns it.

"She's going to get it now." my father said and then stomped through the hall

"Oh, shit, no pleasant dreams for me tonight." I thought as I pulled my blanket over my head and waited for my father to enter the room

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.  
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.  
Lie to me,  
Convince me that I've been sick forever.  
And all of this,  
Will make sense when I get better.

It didn't take long for him to barge in my room and yank me out of bed by my hair. He never allowed me to cut it, and this was the reason.

"You stupid little whore, do you honestly think you would have gotten away with it!?" he yelled as he dragged me across the floor

When I didn't answer he threw me against the wall, hard.

"Of course you wouldn't. Telling that old hag where you were going and then never showing up, that is so stupid, even for you. Besides I told you never to go there!" he screamed again and then kicked me

But I know the difference,  
Between myself and my reflection.  
I just can't help but to wonder,  
Which of us do you love.

I curled into myself, only to be pulled away from the wall by my hair again. He made me sit up on my knees and then back-handed me. I could feel the tears coming, but I held them back for as long as I could, he loved seeing me cry and I hated everything that he loved. After a few more kicks to the stomache, he left, but not before he did the one thing that hurt the most.

"You should have never been brought into this world."

Right there, right then, I cried. My stomache was bruised and hurt, as well as my face and back, but my heart was the worst of them all. It was shattered into little shards that I fear will never be able to be put back together.

__

So I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no...  
Bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe,  
I breathe-  
I breathe no more


	3. Ego, Meet Sesshoumaru

_Okay, this will be the last update for a little while, I'm spoiling everyone with how much I'm writing, and I really need to get some school stuff done. So I hope you enjoy this, and I would suggest you read my profile before you review, if you like me updating that is._

**WARNING: Lime-ish content to be added, and cussing!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, "The Summer of My German Soldier", or the good spelling/grammar you will now find (Roadkill2580 does!)**

* * *

I awoke the next morning, still lying on my bedroom floor. It hurt to move, but I made myself get up anyway. I just had to get up and face what happened to me, well that or pretend it never did.  
  
"Who am I kidding, someone will remind me of it sooner or later," I said as I walked over to my full-length mirror.  
  
The mirror was my mothers at one time, but she gave it to me when she caught me looking at myself in it everyday for a whole month. I looked at myself today and wanted to be sick. My face was purple, a very dark color purple. I could barely see out of my left eye because it was so swollen.  
  
"Gee, I look great," I sighed as I picked up my brush to try and get the knots out of my hair.  
  
"Does he always have to pull my hair? He must want me to be as bald as him, oh wait, if that happened he would have to find a new way to drag me around," I spat at the mirror, though there was no point in it, it just made me feel a little better.  
  
"Kagome, are ye up yet child?" I heard Kaede yell from the kitchen.  
  
"What is she going to say about my face? I hate this." I said to myself as I went to my closet.  
  
"I'm up, just getting dressed." I called to her, knowing she would hear me even with her being so old.  
  
"Good, breakfast has been done for some time now," I barely heard her, but I did hear her.  
  
I quickly pulled on some pants and a shirt then ran down the stairs. As soon as I got down there Kaede looked at me.  
  
"About time-" she began to say, but then she turned around and saw me.  
  
"What in the seven hells happened?" she asked, her eye looked at me in disbelief.  
  
"Would you believe me if I said I got into a fight with the cat?" I asked as I sat down at the table, trying to hide my face.  
  
"Of course not, ye do not have a cat." Kaede said as she walked over to her bag and pulled something out.  
  
"We HAD a cat, but dad gave him away because he was mine," I said, my face lowered to my bowl.  
  
"Look at me," Kaede said as she pulled up a chair right by mine.  
  
I did as she said, and as soon as I did I had some weird smelling purple stuff on my face...did I mention it stung like hell?  
  
"Itai!" I yelled and nearly fell out of my seat, but I caught myself before I did.  
  
"Stay still, this will help with the swelling,"  
  
"It stings, and smells," I said as I looked at the gunk and stuck my tongue out at it.  
  
"Stop that. And did I not tell ye to stay home yesterday? Look at what happens when you don't listen," Kaede ranted a bit as she applied more gunk to my face.  
  
"No, you said not to go to the store, and I didn't. I went to the lake, and I fell asleep, it's not my fault," I said as I turned my face away from her.  
  
"Ye are right. Ye did not do this to ye's self. Wash it off in five minutes, it should be better tomorrow,"  
  
"Thanks," I said barely above a whisper as I went back to my breakfast.  
  
I ate a few bites of my rice before I excused myself to wash my face. It wasn't as painful as when I first woke up, but the rest of my body couldn't share the same fortune as my face.  
  
"How long until I'm eighteen? Oh right, too long." I sighed as I looked in the mirror again.  
  
"Why can't you just leave?" I asked myself, but I knew the answer, or really answers.  
  
My mother was here, all around this house and the woods. She's here looking over me, helping me cope with the beatings and the name calling, until the day that I can be with her again. And of course there is Souta, I know that he doesn't get treated like I do, but I can't leave him right now, he's another part of my mother and how we all use to be.  
  
"But one day, one day I will leave here and then I will really live. Live like my mother never had a chance too, but always told me she wanted to,"  
  
After I rested a bit I decided to talk a walk in the woods, but this time I planned to stay away from the lake.  
  
"You did not come back." a familiar voice said, but as I looked around I could not find anyone.  
  
"Who's there?" I asked  
  
"Look above." the voice said  
  
So being me, I looked up, and I would have screamed if the idiot demon wasn't smiling at me.  
  
"It's you, wow, never thought you would leave MY chair."  
  
"What is it with you and that damned chair?" he asked as he jumped out of the tree, landing of course right infront of me.  
  
"Trying to give me a heart attack or something?" I asked, hand to my chest, he scared the shit out of me, and for that I really want to hurt him.  
  
"No, but now I have the idea to play around with." he said as he took a step towards me.  
  
I kept my hair infront of my face so that he would not see, but the wind began to blow and my hair blew back showing off my face.  
  
"And is this the result of one of your human beatings?" he asked, putting a hand on my bruised cheek.  
  
I winced at the contact, but he did not move his hand.  
  
"Yes, my father beat me last night because I came home late," I told the half truth, of course he still thought parents beat their children all of the time, which wasn't true.  
  
"Can you move your hand, the pain is kinda painful," I asked after a minute of him poking at my face  
  
"I bet it is," he said, still not moving his hand, so I did a bad thing.  
  
I bit him.....oops.  
  
"And why, pray tell, did you do that?" he asked as he looked at his hand.  
  
"I asked you to move your damn hand, not my fault you didn't listen," I said and then turned around and started to walk off.  
  
"Did I give you permission to leave?" he asked as he grabbed my elbow and pulled me back.  
  
"I didn't ask," I bit back.  
  
"At one time in life, you would be bowing me to me," he said, looking me in the eyes, and not letting my elbow go.  
  
"And right now, you will be letting me go," I said through clenched teeth, that elbow he had a hold of hurt from being thrown into a wall.  
  
"You still have not fufilled your promise to me," he said as if I should know what this "promise" was.  
  
"I didn't promise you anything." I snapped at him.  
  
"You said you would come back and talk to me, in which you have yet to do,"  
  
"So? We're talking right now, so the 'promise' has been met, and far to long might I add." I said as I tried to get my elbow out of his grip.  
  
"Do I frighten you?" he asked me, and for once, I did not know what to say.  
  
Of course he frightened me, but then again he didn't. What I was scared of the most was what would happen if my father found out that I was out in the woods talking to a demon. But being afraid of him just seemed silly when I thought about it, he had yet to really hurt me. He just seemed to be lonely.  
  
"No," I said, looking him in the eyes so he would know that I wasn't lying.  
  
"Then why do you not want to be near me?" he asked in a whisper, getting very close to me, so close that I could feel his warm breath of my face.  
  
"If anyone saw me with you, then I would wish that my face would end up like this when my father got done with me." I said, again without thinking, but him being so close did something to me.  
  
"Then this," he pointed to me my face "Is not a normal human happening?" he asked, still somewhat whispering.  
  
"Just for me," I couldn't lie to him anymore, I had no reason to.  
  
I've known him for less than a day and I already have trouble telling him the littlest lie. He couldn't do anything about it anyway, he was a demon in hiding and he wouldn't risk getting caught for me, an annoying girl that he loves to tease.  
  
"Why?" one little world, one harmless little word that held so much pain if answered with the truth.  
  
"Because I'm not my mother," was all I could bring myself to say, and believe it or not, it was the truth.  
  
It was true because my father would trade my life for my mother's life anyday, and truth be told, so would I. I would sacrifice myself to bring my mother back, so Souta could grow up with someone who truly loved him and could show him how to not be like my father. How to be someone worth respecting.  
  
"That tells me nothing," the demons voice broke into my thoughts  
  
The demon.  
  
"Wait a second, you never told me your name," I said as I brought myself to look at him again.  
  
"I could say the same of you," he countered, which was annoying.  
  
"Fine. I'm Kagome, and you are?"  
  
"Sesshouamru."  
  
"Funny name, but I like it." I said, trying to be at least a little cheerful.  
  
"Glad you approve." he said getting back the his asshole persona.  
  
"Oh shove it you arrogant ball of fluff," I said in a more playful tone than usual, I really was trying to be nice.  
  
He raised an eyebrow at me, which made me want to laugh, but I held it in. I simply pointed to the fluffy thing on his shoulder and he seemed to have gotten the picture.  
  
"I swear if you did not entertain me so I would have killed you yesterday,"  
  
"How many times are you going to repeat this? I mean lets face it, you're not going to kill me," now I'm acting cocky, the way it should be.  
  
"I suppose you are right, how could I ever kill a child?" Sesshomaru smirked at me.  
  
That son-of-a bitch just called me a child.  
  
"Yeah gramps, killing children is wrong," oh that'll teach him.  
  
"Tuche. I suppose you may not be as much of a child as I first thought," Sesshomaru looked thoughtful.  
  
"No shit, I'm almost sixteen, my father should be trying to marry me off in the next year or so." I said, now sitting down because my poor back decided that it did not like being up anymore, not that I could blame it.  
  
"Not that I want to get married, if I can put it off until I'm eighteen, then he can't make me do anything," I said it more to myself, but of course he heard me, he was standing right there above me.  
  
"Kagome!" Kaede's voice called out.  
  
"Oh, it must be time for lunch. If you wait here I'll bring you back some food," I said as I stood up, which hurt my whole body to do, but I managed it.  
  
"I will be here then," he said as he jumped in the air and took a seat in one of the trees, which suprised me almost as much as when he jumped down.  
  
I waved bye to him as I walked back to my house to grab the food. When I got close to home I could see Kaede and Souta outside looking for me.  
  
"I'm back," I called as I stepped out of the trees in the back yard.  
  
"Nee-chan's back!" Souta yelled right before he ran and hugged my legs, not letting go until I pried him off.  
  
"Kaede, I was thinking about taking my lunch to the lake, like me and my mother use to do," I said as I walked into the kitchen, Souta following behind me.  
  
"Can I go too Nee-chan?" he asked, and I hated to say no, but I had to.  
  
"Ne, Souta, don't you have a play date today?"  
  
"Hai." he said, head lowered, it made my heart ache a bit.  
  
"How about tomorrow?" I asked, hoping that would cheer him up.  
  
"Hai!" he called out before he ran outside with his bowel of food.  
  
"Here ye go, I put a little extra incase ye decide to fall asleep, because I know ye did not eat lunch or dinner yesterday," Kaede said.  
  
"Thanks Kaede, you're the greatest," I said then grabbed the basket she made up and kissed her before I ran out the door.  
  
"I hope he likes it."


	4. Not Enough, I'm Sorry

Well I must say, some of you either did NOT look at my profile before reviewing, or you did and thought that it would be funny to go against it. So, you get a short chapter, and there will be no other updates for a month or more. I am not kiding with this, so please be more respectful in your reviews and do not yell at me to update.

**WARNING: Lime-ish content, cussing, and weirdness makes this story.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha or "The Summer Of My German Soldier" nor do I own the song "Not Enough" by Our Lady Peace.**

Thank you too Roadkill2580 for being my editor!

****

* * *

I ran back to the forest as fast as I could, but being careful not to drop the food I was carrying. When I finally got to the place that I had left Sesshoumaru, he wasn't there.  
  
"Sesshoumaru!" I called out  
  
I waited a minute for an answer, but none came. He wasn't up in the trees from what I could see, and he wasn't answering me.  
  
"Where did he go?" I asked myself as I looked around the area, but there was no sign of him.  
  
"I know!"  
  
I ran back to my hideaway and walked inside, he wasn't there.  
  
"Of course he is that much of a jerk," I thought to myself as I looked at the empty room.  
  
He wasn't there either, and I found myself feeling a bit dissapointed.  
  
"I should have known," I sighed to myself.  
  
"You should have know what?" a familiar voice asked.  
  
"That you would--Hey, where the hell did you go?" I asked as I turned around, I was mad again, not like I was ever happy.  
  
"You took too long, so I went to get some water," he answered as he walked past me and to the table.  
  
"If I wasn't such a nice person I would just leave...with MY food," Yes....I am possesive, more so when people are being assholes to me.  
  
"Feel free. I am capable of finding my own meals. You do not need to worry about me and my well being," Sesshomaru replied.  
  
I hate him. Simple as that. I want to rip his vocal cords out and use them as a slig shot. He actually thinks that I was worrying about him when I was just trying to be nice to him for a change.  
  
"Fine," I said, not having been able to think of anything better to do or say, and stomped out of the room.  
  
MY room. Possesiveness is a bad thing. He just made me so angry with his teasing and his 'My race is better than your race' attitude. Our races switched roles, and he doesn't seem to get that. Humans have all of the power now, not demons.  
  
"I hope he gets caught, the miserable prick!" I shouted behind me, hoping that he heard what I said.

* * *

I took the basket of food an walked up to a hill I use to play at with my friends, before my father convinced them to hate me.  


There's nothing you can say

Nothing you can do

Nothing in between

You know the truth

Nothing left to face

Nothing left to lose

Nothing takes your place

  
I sat down and took my shoes off, wiggling my toes in the soft grass. I sighed as I looked up into the blue sky, it was a perfect summer day.  
  
"Stupid, arrogant demon. Why does he always make me so mad?"  
  
I reached into the basket and took a sandwhich out, then I laid back and watched the clouds.  
  
"Lets see what pictures we can find today."  
  
It was a game my mother made up when I was four, we would lay outside in the backyard and see what picture we could find hiding in the clouds. My dad use to play it with us.  
  
"Enough about him. The man that you knew as your father died with your mother," I muttered.__

When they say you're

not that strong

Well you're not that weak

It's not your fault

  
  
I silently looked up at the sky, but no pictures really stood out today. Usually I would see a whole mess of things, but today it seems that the clouds were not in a very artistic mood.  
  
"Serves me right, I should just go home and do some chores. Or at least clean my face again." I said as I touched my bruised face that had just begun to burn again.  
  
I took a bite of my sandwhich and decided to give the clouds one last chance, not like it would hurt anything or waste anymore of my 'precious' time.  
  
"Mama," I said wistfully.  
  
I finally saw a picture, and it was of my mother. I could see her laughing, and smiling, and just ebing her warm, cheerful self.  
  
"I miss you so much, I just wish I could see you one last time, face to face," 

When you climb up to that hill

Up to your place

I hope you're well

There's nothing left to prove

Nothing I won't do

Nothing like the pain

I feel for you

  
"Stop it Kagome, you do this everytime you try to relax. She's dead, you killed her and she's not coming back," I berated myself.  
  
But I want her back. I want her to hold me and tell me that everything will be okay. Tell me that she loves me and that she doesn't blame me for what happened to her. But most of all, tell me that everything will get better if I just give it a little bit of time.  
  
"I want her to be my mother,"  
  
I started to cry again, for being someone who yells and acts tough, I sure do find myself crying a lot. I'm reminded of my mothers death everyday of my life, reminded that I am the reason that she isn't here to make things better for me.  
  
"I just want to feel her, to smell her, to see her, all of the things I miss doing," I cried pathetically.  
  
I found myself screaming now, as the tears rolled down my cheeks, one after another after another, until my face was completely wet.  
  
"I just want her back!" I called out again, my food long forgotten, the reason I was here a big blur.  
  
All I knew was that I needed her, and she would not be coming.  
  
_Nothing left to hide _

_Nothing left to fear _

_I am always here  
_  
I sobbed as I rocked myself, having sat up when the crying first began. If you would ask people if I was guilty about my mothers death, they would say yes, because I know that I caused it. But if you were to ask me, I would say yes, because I hated her for it.  
  
I hated her for leaving me, leaving me to feel this pain. I hated her for not being there for me, for not stopping my father from beating me, hating me.  
  
I hate her for making me hate her.  
  
"I hate her for loving me,"  
  
Her love for me caused her death, and I hate her for that. She caused my hate by loving me. She could have ran and gotten away, but instead she chose to save me and end her own life. I should have been the one to die, she would have gotten over my death, they all would have. She had Souta to love, and so did my dad, so if I were to have died, they would have gotten over it.  
  
"No, I had to live. I had to be the one to run away and hide," I bit out coldly.  
  
I acted like a coward that night, like a child, and my mother paid the price.  
__

What you want

What you lost

What you had

What is gone is over

What you've got

What you love

What you need is real

  
  
"Stop it, stop reliving it. Just let it go!"  
  
I clutched my head, it hurt so bad to think of that night, to watch my mother be ripped apart by a monster. Hear her screams, her pleas, her last words of love sent to me and my brother.  
  
"Stop it. Stop it! STOP IT!"  
  
The pain was too much, I felt like I was going to pass out, which at this point I would welcome. My head pounded as images of my mothers face flashed in my mind. Deep cuts all over her body, blood everywhere, she was fighting to get away from the moster, but it was too strong for her.  
  
I sat there, hiding in a bush, watching my mother being ripped apart, and all I could do was cry. I should have went for help, I should have tried to help her, but I didn't.  
  
"That's why everyone hates you, because you didn't even try to help her. You ran out of harms way and watched her die,"  
  
I remember seeing her right before it broke her neck, she had a smile on her face, and she said that she would always love me and my brother, that we were all that ever mattered to her.  
  
I remembered the sound her neck made when the moster twisted it so easily in it's hands, remembering it made me jump off of the ground and run to the bushes.  


If it's not enough

It's not enough

It's not enough I'm sorry

If it's not enough

It's not enough

  
"I'm so sorry mama, I know it's not enough, and that it will never be enough, but I am sorry," I sighed again  
  
After a minute, I got up and left.

* * *

Sesshoumaru was sitting at the table, having not been able to find any food for himself, of course he would never admit that to anyone...meaning Kagome.  
  
"Annoying girl," he thought to himself.  
  
He sat at the wooden table, silent, and bored out of his mind. Since going into hiding he has had nothing to do but sit around, all by himself. His thoughts of how utterly bored he was were broken by a sound outside of the door. He stood up an quietly walked to the door to check it out.  
  
"What is this?" he asked himself when he opened the door  
  
Sitting on the ground by his feet was a basket, and the aroma emmiting from it was like heaven.  
  
"Amusing girl." 


	5. Nobody's Home

_I know I updated sooner than I said I would, but for some reason this story keeps coming up when I sit down to write. The next chapter should be out soon. Oh, and if you see a story called "Your All I Have" by Angel-182, then left me know, because she ripped of this story on a different site. Thanks for all of the reviews...I answered them this time!_

**WARNING: Lime content and cussing, good thing Roadkill2580 corrected my spelling/grammar mistakes -**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, "The Summer Of My German Soldier", or the song "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne.**

* * *

When I got home no one was there. Kaede had probably taken Souta to a friends house while she went out shopping. I looked around the house, the one my mother loved more than any other. It did not look the same as it use to, all of her things had been sold and replaced.

"I hate this ugly thing." I said as I looked down at the couch my step-mother never let me sit on when I was a child.

Hell, she barely let me sit on it now. Not that I ever wanted to, it was the ugliest, most uncomfortable piece of crap I had ever had the displeasure of seeing. She loved it, and the rest of us hated it, but we would never say anything. My father never liked it when I talked ill of his wife, he always said that it was my fault that she was my new mother.

I sighed as I walked in to the kitchen, I stopped and grabbed a cookie from the table before I made my way to my room. It was the smallest room in the house, and was not originally mine. It was Souta's room, but my father thought that he needed the bigger one to fit all of his toys into. My room didn't have much in it, just a bed, a dresser, and a bookshelf. My father wasn't too big on buying me anything unless he really had too.

"Bed," I muttered to myself as I threw myself on it.

I laid there for a few minutes, not sure how many, I just felt so tired. Lately I haven't had much strength, not like I use too.

"Mama...what I wouldn't give for some soup and a story right now," I murmured.

And to see your face, smell your hair, feel your arms around me.

"Mama...do you blame me too?"

Do you blame me for being a spoiled brat, for having to have my way? For being me?

"I blame me," I said finally.

And I blame you.

"I blame the world for taking you, and for letting me come into it,"

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,  
She felt it everyday.  
And I couldn't help her,  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again._

I thought about my mother everyday, I couldn't help it. Everything I did or said turned into her dying and leaving me alone with my father. Deep down inside I know that it wasn't really my fault, but that part had long ago been covered up by all of my scars and bruises, and not to mention my fathers words.

I always wondered why I ever listened to them, took them seriously and let them hurt me so badly. I realized the answer years ago though, it is because he is my father. He is my father and no matter what he does, his opinion will always matter to me. Even if I don't want it too, it will simply for the fact that it had for so many years before he stopped loving me.

"I'm pathetic," I spat.

_What's wrong, what's wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs._

I stared up at my ceiling. There was nothing special about it, but it did stop me from thinking for a whole minute. Thinking became something I loathed. 

"To think is to feel, to feel is to cry, to cry is to stop living my lie," I said.

I lied to myself, everyday I would tell myself that this was a dream. A bad dream, but a dream no less. But once I started crying, the dream became real, my life became the horrible dream I tried to hide from for so long. I miss how life use to be, my mom baking in the kitchen while my little brother 'helped', and my dad reading me stories while we sat in our favorite chair.

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._

_**Flashback**_

_**"Daddy, will you read me a story?" a little girl with long black hair asked as she held a small book out to a man sitting in a big green chair.**_

_**The man smiled down at the little girl and then gave her a nod. She squealed in delight and hugged her fathers leg.**_

_**"Of course. Anything for my little princess," he said as he lifted her into his lap and opened the book she had.**_

_**He read to her for over an hour, the girl smiling up at her father with a look of pure bliss shining in her eyes. He looked back down at her with the same look as he kissed the tip of her nose. She fell asleep like that, cuddled in her fathers warm arms like nothing in the world could ever hard her.**_

_**End Flashback**_

_Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.  
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind._

Before I knew what was going on, a tear rolled down my cheek, followed by another. I tried to hold them back, but it was no use. My lie was lost another day.

"I miss you daddy, please come back soon," I whispered to my empty room as more tears fell from my eyes

At one point in my life, my father was the one I told everything to, as well as my mother. We were so close, and he loved me with every fiber of his being, you could just tell by the way he looked at me. At one point in time my father was proud to have me as his daughter.

_Be strong, be strong now.  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs._

I cried even more, though I wanted desperately to stop. These memories were like a wave of pain, just waiting to drown me in even more sorrow. I laid still for a while, my face now buried in my pillow, but then I heard something. I lifted my head from it's hiding place and looked towards my wondow.

"What are you doing here?" I asked the figured that stood by my window, eating my cookie that I didn't realize wasn't in my hand anymore.

"You didn't come to play, so I came to see you!" the little ball of fluff know as Shippou squealed as he launched himself at me, my cookie still in his mouth.

"Shippou-chan, you know that you shouldn't be here." I scolded him, but I wasn't really mad, just worried.

"But I made a real good disguise, and I was really careful." he said, giving me his puppy eyes. I could never resist them...never.

"Okay, but next time just wait for me. We might as well get you some food, I'm sure you ate all that I left you the other day," I said as I got out of bed, wiping my eyes on my sleeve when Shippou wasn't looking.

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._

"Hai! It was all really goodm" he said with the cutest smile on his face as he rubbed his stomach through his shirt.

"I'm glad you liked it Shippou-chan." I couldn't help the giggle that escaped from throat as I walked back into the kitchen with the tiny youkai.

"Kagome-chan, do you think my papa will be back soon?" he asked after a minute, and I didn't know how to answer.

"I hope so Shippou-chan, I know how much you miss him," that was all I could say to even try and comfort him. He gave a sad nod, he had been left alone since his father was taken into the camps. His mother died giving birth to him, so now all he had was me. I felt a kinship to him, since we both lost our parents, to death and other tragic situations.

"How about another cookie?"

"Hai!" he squealed again as he ran for the plate. He grabbed his cookie and took a big bite out of it, but before he could finish it someone opened the front door.

"Kagome, you better be here," the voice of my father came from the living room. Shippou panicked, and did the only thing he could. He turned into duster and jumped into my hands, as did his cookie. My father came in a minute later, glaring at me.

"Good, you're here," he spat out at me. How one could hold that much hate for another was something I would never begin to realize, and I didn't want to even try.

"What's in your hand?" he asked, glaring down at my palms

I looked down and saw the cookie, and knew what was about to come.

_Her feelings she hides.  
Her dreams she can't find.  
She's losing her mind.  
She's fallen behind._

"I-I got hungry, I was only going to eat half," I tried to reason with him, but I knew it wouldn't work.

"Stealing food now. How selfish can you be, I feed you three god damn times a day, and now you're sitting down here scarfing down cookies and who knows what else!" he screamed in my face. I closed my eyes, trying to not cry.

"Look at me you little bitch!" he screamed even louder, but this time a slapped came with it.

I fell to the floor, Shippou was knocked out of my hands, and I could see him shaking under the table.

"I'm sorry!" I cried, but all I got in response was a kick in my back

I stayed on the floor, hoping that he was done with his assault, but I found that he wasn't when something shattered and blood spilled from my face. He broke a plate over my head, he hadn't done that in a long time, I almost for got how much it hurt.

_She can't find her place.  
She's losing her faith.  
She's fallen from grace.  
She's all over the place.  
Yeah, oh_

I sniffed back the tears as he kicked me one last time.

"Clean this place up. I want it done before I get home." and with that said, I was left on the floor, bleeding, and wanting to die.

"Kagome-chan?" Shippou's voice broke me out of my thoughts of death. He stood infront of me, shaking he would never be able to stop. He looked at me with his sad eyes, and I couldn't help the smile that came to my face.

_She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._

I didn't need death, all I needed were the few people that loved me.

"It's okay Shippou-chan. Everything will be fine," I said as I hugged him close to me.

_She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah  
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah_

* * *

**_kage: Though not really the kind of review that I like, I will write more and say thank you._**

**_migele: That they do, I agree. As for the killing, you shall see soon as to what he does._**

**_Duo no Tsuin: Do you know that you are one of my favorite reviewers of all time? I mean it, you always seem to make me feel better, and I love your long reviews. I'm sorry I'm unhappy too, but they just don't seem to get that threats get annoying as does them shouting at me to update. I don't think anyone reads profiles, I do, but I doubt many more do. They should read mine because I post my chapter progress in there, so they can get an idea about how long it will take me to update. I know they did, and I appreciate that, but it still ticks me off. You know, I think you're right. I can't help it, but I also think it makes for good reading, lol._**

**_You really should get more, I read your Inuyasha fic (and reviewed, I rarely do that o.O). I laugh at them too, but when you get 5 in one day, you just feel like banging your head against a wall. _**

**_Sesshoumaru is a wise one._**

**_I don't know what came ov er me when I wrote that, I think it's just years of being treated like the black sheep of the family (by my father no less). My siblings have always ment more to him then I did, I suppose that is another reason why I wrote this story. It's a way to let all of these emotions out that don't case me to hurt anyone (namely my dad). Simple it sounds, hard it tis. That we do, and I will try, and you do the same._**

**_Thanks a lot, and if you have any messenger service, let me know and I will add you so we can talk sometime, if you want to of course._**

**_I wish Kagome, Sesshoumaru, AND you the best.  
Flame Dancer077: Thanks, I love when people like my writing, it makes me all happy._**

**_silverstargazing: I am glad that you like it. _**

**_silverkitsunekagome: Though this is one of those reviews that I loathe, I will of course continue._**

**_Trapped in Icy Flame: It would have been, but I didn't wait that long. I'm glad you like it, and I am also glad you can wait for updates. Thanks for reviewing.  
  
Golden-Eyed-Girl: I suppose you didn't read my note in my profile, but I also suppose that it okay. I mean as long as you like it and didn't exactly demand for me to update. Well, I'm glad you like it and I hope you like this chapter.  
  
DemonWicca: Thankies - Oh, it's okay if you didn't, I know people have better things to do than review my stories. You are very welcome, I know they do, but it would be nice if they could show a little more respect when it comes to "asking" me to update. Here's the next chapter, and the 6th should be done soon. Thanks for the review .  
  
Black-Fire Eclipse: I hope she can too, maybe she will as time goes on, but who knows shrugs Here's that update you wanted._**

**_bad-girl4: Yeah it was, but I'm glad you liked it. I'll update as fast as I can, but sometimes I might not be able to update for a few weeks._**

**_animedemon21: Was that soon enough? lol. I've been updating pretty fast for this one, but that should stop soon. Thanks for reviewing! _**

**__**


	6. Rain On My Parade

_I updated. Yes, I really did, and it's sorta kinda long. I have the next two chapters planned, but NOT writen yet. I have school which includes 30 pages of makeup work I have yet to get done, so please do not demand that I update, I will when I have the chance. Thanks for all of the reviews._

**WARNING: Err....same as all of the others.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, "Rain" by Breaking Benjamin, or "I Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones.**

* * *

Three days. That's how long that it has been raining, that's how long I've been wanting to throw myself out my window. 

"Three days." I whined to myself as I laid on my bedroom floor.

My father and step-mother had been home almost all day everyday since the rain started, no one seemed to like to shop when it was pouring outside. They spent all day torturing me, well they did when Souta wasn't around. They never let him witness my beatings, but I know he's heard my screams at night when he was suppose to be sleeping.

"Three wonderful days." I couldn't help but mumble.

Three days since I've seen him. I wanted to go and see him two days ago, but the rain had ruined all chance of that. I shouldn't care about seeing him, but for some reason I do. He annoys me, pisses me off, and makes me want to kill him, but for some reason, I enjoy it. He is the first person I've met that does not think of me as a murderer, he just thinks of me as an 'amusing' girl.

"An annoying girl is more like it." I corrected myself.

He may find me amusing, but everyone else thinks I am some annoying girl that needs to 'learn her place' in the world, which my father thinks is as his punching bag.

"My place in the world." I murmured.

I don't know what my place is, but I do know that it is not here. One day very soon, I am going to leave here with Shippou. We are going to find a place that we both belong.

_Take a photograph,  
It'll be the last,  
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here._

The only real thing keeping me here is Souta, but once I'm sure that he will be safe without me, I am going to pack what little I can and leave this state of self pity behind. I am going to find a place that was made for me, a place where no one has ever heard of me, and that I can live free with Shippou. I have to tell him about his father, and that in itself will be so hard. He thinks that his father will come back for him soon, but I have to tell him that he was killed.

"I would gladly trade his father for mine."

I had thought that ever since I met Shippou, but each time I always felt a little guilty because I was thinking such horrible things about my father, but this time I mean it. I wish he would just die, then I would take Souta away from here so that he may have a chance at a life filled with real love. I'll take Souta and Shippou somewhere where we can forget about our pasts and just work on having a future.

_I don't have a past _

_I just have a chance, _

_Not a family or honest plea remains to say,_

"I wish it would stop raining, if only just for a day." I whined to myself.

Right now my father was napping while my step-mother looked through the inventory for the store. Really she was figuring out how much money they would make this month so she could plan a trip for everyone but me to go on. She never did like taking me anywhere, she said I did not look like I was part of the family. I look like I am part of the family more than she does, but she does not seem to get that, and neither does my father. She does not look anything like our mother, so that means that she looks nothing like me or Souta, but she still expects Souta to call her mother.

"I need to get out of here." I wanted to scream it, but I thought better of it.

I was going out of my mind being in the house all day, I wanted to leave so badly that I actually thought about calling my father a bad name so that he would chase me around the yard. I knew better though, the thought of the following pain made me stay in my room all day.

_Rain rain go away, _

_Come again another day, _

_All the world is waiting for the sun._

"I could go out for a minute, no one would know I left."

I know it was a bad idea, but the thought of spending another minute alone in this room did not leave me thinking very clearly. I got up off of the floor and walked over to my window, but I stopped before I opened it, listening to make sure that no one was coming. When I did not hear anything I slowly opened my window and climbed out. Once I was outside I shut my window and then I took a deep breath, it felt good to be outside again.

The rain was not all that cold like I thought it would be, it actually felt good against my skin. My clothes began to stick to me after only a minute, but I didn't care one bit, I was outside and nothing could ruin it for me. The rain would not be missed if it were to just stop, but it was not bothering me, more like it was reflecting my mood. My birthday would be here in just a few short weeks, and I had no way to get out of it. I could not just forget about my birthday like I always wished that I could, my father would remember, he always did.

I walked into the forest, not sure what I was hoping to find. I suppose I wanted to see Sesshoumaru and tell him why I have not been around, but then again I suppose that he wouldn't really care about what happened to me.

"He did get mad when I 'broke that promise' to him, so maybe he does care." I said.

It was a long shot, but it was a nice feeling to think that someone may actually care about your well-being when the world seems to hate everything about you.

_Is it you I want, _

_Or just the notion _

_Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around _

As I walked I found myself humming, though I do not know what song it was, I thought it was pretty and that Shippou might like it. I suppose I heard it somewhere before, perhaps my mother played it for me when I was a child, but I could never be sure.

"I waited 'til the sun came out. I don't know why I didn't come." I sang that part outloud instead of humming like I had been.

My mood had seemed to change slightly since I left that evil house. Yes, it became evil as soon as that bitch moved in with all of her evil furniture, and not to mention that evil aura she seems to give off everytime she steps into a room. I try not to spend much time with her, but she often makes me stay, threatening that she will tell my father that I misbehaved somehow, which I would almost prefer the beating to the torture of hearing her call me and my mother those names.

"I left you by the house of fun. I don't know why I didn't come. I don't know why I didn't come." the next part seemed a bit silly to me, which caused me to giggle as the rain washed over my body.

The rain began to slow a bit, and it almost made me sad to see it go, it comforted me in a way.

_Safe to say from here, _

_Your getting closer now, _

_We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be_

The forest didn't seem as cheery as it usually does, like the rain changed its mood like it had mine. This almost comforted me as well, to know that I'm not the only one filled with this empty sadness made me almost smile, but not quite. I started humming again, the words lost to me as I got closer to the demon who only a few days ago tried to kill me.

"Not like he couldn't have, it would have been so easy for him to slice my throat open and leave me on the floor to bleed to death." I snorted morbidly.

Same days I wish he had killed me, then everyone would be happy, Souta would forget about me in a few years. He wouldn't remember having a sister, and that would be a good thing, he would never remember how much everyone hated me for something few believe I had no control over.

"So sad. What troubles are upon you today?" with that voice I almost forgot that I actually came out here to see the asshole.

"None that you could fix, so it really wouldn't do me any good to tell you." I said as I continued to walk.

I could hear the trees move above me, so I knew that he was following me as I walked. I almost smiled because of that, but I didn't because I knew that he would think of some way to piss me of because of it.

"How do you know that I could not fix them?" he asked, still up in the trees, as he moved along with me.

"Fine, you probably could, but I very much doubt that you would. Besides, I would never ask for your help." I said.

He didn't respond to that, but I knew that he was still there. I walked a few more feet before I stopped and sat down on a rock. It was still raining, but not with the force it had the past few days, or even this morning.

_Rain rain go away, _

_Come again another day, _

_All the world is waiting for the sun._

I could still hear him, but this time I could hear him walking next to me before he sat down.

"How do you know that I would not help?" he asked after a minute, I almost laughed.

"Because you don't seem like the type to help some random human out. Plus, as I have already said, I would never ask for your help." I answered, but I did not look in his direction at all.

It was quiet again, all that could be heard was the rain, and I found it kind of nice to just sit here, even if I was getting wet. The silence was not uncomfortable, it was more like the opposite, it was so comfortable that I wanted to stay like this all day.

"It is true that I do not like to help humans, but, I would make an exception for you." Sesshomaru said at last.

I was surpised, I was angry, and I really wanted to jump him. Yes I have a sick mind, but I wish that it would leave me alone for today.

"Why?" that was all I could bring myself to ask.

"You amuse me, and, you seem different from the others." he all but laughed out the last part.

It seems he finds that I'm some kind of joke, that he could get a good laugh at my expense. Oh god was he wrong about that.

"Want to know what I think of you? I think that you are an over cocky, egotistical, pain in the ass. And for the last time, I WOULD NEVER ASK YOU FOR HELP!" I screamed, bad me.

He seemed to wince at my tone, but I was overly pissed at the moment. Sure people call me names, beat me, make me feel like shit, but no one (and I mean no one) laughs at me.

"Keep quiet, I do not need to be discovered at this time." he said pretty calmly as he covered his cute pointed ears that I really need to stop thinking about.

"I could really care less, this is my one day to be outside and you are not going to ruin it for me."

_Rain rain go away, _

_Come again another day, _

_All the world is waiting for the sun._

I really wanted to apologize to him, really I did, but something wouldn't let me. If I had to take a guess I would say it was my pride, it was a stubborn emotion that got me into a lot of trouble many times in the past, and I have a feeling it will get me into trouble again very soon.

_To lie here under you, _

_Is all that I could ever do, _

_To lie here under you is all, _

_To lie here under you is all that i could ever do, _

_To lie here under you is all,_

"Thank you."

Did he just say thank you, to me? Yes, I believe he did, and here I am not saying anything, man I can be such an idiot.

"What for?"

Oh well, that was real nice, maybe I should have spit in his face too.

"For the food."

Heh, I did leave that for him, I forgot about that. Why am I acting like such an idiot now, I mean just a second ago I was yelling at him, I need to get out more.

"You're welcome. I figured that you would have trouble finding food, and it's not like I wanted it anymore."

I really should not have added that last part, damn pride, damn mouth, damn my inability to keep the two away from each other when talking to arrogant (but cute) demons.

"Am I right to assume that you pity me and think that I cannot fend for myself?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow as he looked me in the eyes.

I didn't even know that I had looked at him, it's like my body turned without me knowing.

"Maybe."

I should win an award for my place as the dumbest person ever, that's something my father might actually agree with me on, you know, if the award was a kick to the face.

"I will accept that, for now."

Did he really just let me half admit that I find him pathetic and think that he could not survive without help? Dear god the sky MUST be falling.

"So...what did you do these past three days?"

Small talk is good, right?

"Oh I did a mountain of things. I went swimming, and then I bought some new clothes from a near by shop. I must say that there are so many things to keep people busy around here when it is raining and you are in hiding."

Small talk so very not good.

_Rain rain go away, _

_Come again another day, _

_All the world is waiting for the sun. _

I didn't say anything, because I knew if I did he would say something else that would make me angry and then I would yell at him, and right now all I wanted was some peace and quiet. So, I sat there, saying nothing, just looking at the rain as it slowed a little more. The rain looked so beautiful as it fell, it was almost like a dance.

"I wish I could stay out here all day." I thought to myself as I continued to watch the rain

I knew I would have to go home soon if I didn't want my father knowing that I had left, though there is a chance that he already does. It would figure that as soon as I left that he went into my room, that's my luck and it's sticking to me, much to my dismay.

"Do you always sit out in the pouring rain?"

He had to break the silence, the beautiful silence that I love so much.

"Every chance I get." I replied after a second of thinking.

Actaully, this was one of my favorite things to do as a child. My mother and father always told me that I would catch a cold, or something worse if I kept it up, but I never would listen. The rain calmed me when I was upset, it was always the set to my dreams and fantasies, and I guess it still is.

I had this one fantasy where I was dressed in an amazing silk dress, it was pure white and strapless, something every girl dreams of having at some point in their life. I was in a garden wearing my dress, and then it started to rain, but instead of running inside I would stay for some reason, and then after a few minutes a man would show up. I always thought that he was my 'prince charming', that he would be the one to save me from my own personal hell, but he has yet to show up. If I was right, he would have been here for me years ago, I guess it really is just a fantasy.

"I guess I'll never really know."

That thought made me smile, not a happy smiule, but a sad one. The rain slowed a bit more which made my smile sadden, but I was cheered up a bit when I felt a certain demons hand rest on my head.

"I have a new friend."

_Rain rain go away, _

_Come again another day, _

_All the world is waiting for the sun, _

_All the world is waiting for the sun, _

_All the world is waiting for the sun._


	7. All Alone, But Nothing's Wrong

_Okay, I'm back with another chapter, and this one is pretty long. Sorry it took so long, but I've been sick and my birthday was Tuesday, not to mention all of the tests I had to take, so it was pretty much impossible for me to update. I have to say something, I cannot update any faster than I do, I update when I can, so please quit telling me to update faster._

**_Warning: This is sad, and I had to edit it myself, so it's kinda bad._**

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, "The Summer Of My German Soldier", or the song used in this chapter (it's by Norah Jone, I forgot the name though)._**

* * *

It was an amazing day, Sesshoumaru and I talked for hours until I realized what time it was. I told him that I had to get home and that I would come and see him as soon as I could, and he seemed to actually want me to. It's weird how things turn out, he hasn't threatened to kill me in a while, and that (for some odd reason) makes me smile.

I made it back into my room without my father knowing that I was gone, which I am very grateful for.

The rain turned to a light drizzle as I watched it from my window, hopefully this means that I will be able to go out tomorrow. I'm all of a sudden very excited at the thought of seeing Sesshoumaru again, it's a weird feeling that I don't know if I will ever get use to, but I hope I at least get the chance too.

"I hope he sticks around for a while."

In the week that I have known him, I almost forgot that he is in hiding and couldn't just pop up whenever he felt like it. I have to make sure that I keep his secret, otherwise I will be losing my only friend for good, and I do not want that. I thought Shippou was my only friend, but soon after I met him I realized that he was more than my friend, he was my family and I love him like he was my very own son. I guess now he sort of will be, I just have to find the courgae to tell him that his father is dead. I've known this for a few weeks, they announced when they killed all of the wounded youkai that they had captured, and I knew that his father was wounded badly when they caught him.

Youkai's have been healing much slower as of late, they say that they are weaker because of something having to do with the air, and something that has been released into it.  
Whatever it is doesn't harm humans one bit, but it has made it where the youkai's are less able to protect themselves, so all of the humans in the government took advantage of it right away. If it had not been for Shippou, and now Sesshoumaru, I would have thought that all youkai deserved this fate, but I now know that some are actually good. I could not help Shippou's father, but maybe someday I can help others to honor his memory, and maybe Shippou will help me, and forgive me.

"I guess I'll just have to wait and see."

I gave out a little sigh as I made my way to my bed and sat down. I felt very tired all of a sudden, the day had finally gotten to me, even if I was inside almost all day, being bored took a lot out of me. I took of my shoes and let out another big sigh, I had not gotten new shoes in a long time, so when I had them on for a while I find it most joyous to take them off. I got under my blanket, not even bothering to change my clothes, and I went to sleep, hoping to see a certain demon in the morning.

_Spending life dancing  
To her favorite song  
A little girl with nothing wrong  
Is all alone_

As soon as I woke up I ran to the window, the sun was out and there was no rain in sight, and that my friend was a very good thing. I changed my clothes as fast as I could before I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hai, they are gone." Kaede answered my question before I could even ask it, she knows me all to well.

"I'm glad for that, I thought I was going to lose my mind being here with them all day everyday." I said as I sat down at the table.

Kaede brought over a bowl of rice and some fried eggs, smiling the whole time, and that made me smile. I swear smiling is contagious, like yawning, which I hate for the sheer fact that it means someone can control you, even if it is just for a second.

"Where's Souta?" I asked after a minute of looking around, it was odd for him not to be up before me.

"Sick." was all she said as she made up a bowl of soup, most likely to take to Souta when he wakes up.

"Too bad, I was going to take him for a picnic at the river like I promised him I would. I guess it'll have to be another day."

It really was too bad, I love my little brother and I hate for him to be the least bit miserable, and I really was going to take him today.

"Hai, he should be well in a few days." she replied as she began to wash some dishes.

I didn't say anything else as I ate, I wanted to get out of the house as soon as I could. It did not take me long to finish, so as soon as I was done I bolted out of my seat and said goodbye to Kaede as I ran out the back door. I could see the headshake Kaede reserved for me as I ran into the forest, she really was like my grandmother.

_Eyes wide open  
Always hoping for the sun  
And she'll sing a song  
For anyone that comes along_

I ran to the river to see what the rain had done to the waters, but when I got there the river was not the only thing waiting for me.

"Sesshoumaru?" I asked as I stepped closer.

He was sitting at the edge of the water, seeming to be in a very deep thought. I almost turned around and went back, but something stopped me.

"It is very peaceful here." he finally said after a minute of silence.

"Yeah, my mother found this place when she was a child, and she shared it with me." I said as I walked to him and sat down.

The water seemed to be untouched by the rain, like it was sheltered from it, it was beautiful.

"I wish that I could have had something like this as I was growing up, but it seems that my mother did not take as much joy in these simple things as one would have thought." he said with some sort of sadness in his voice, though it was very hard to hear.

"My mother once told me that these 'simple things' are what make life worth living. To have something so perfect, so untouched, so in reach, these are the things that make you feel like you are apart of something wonderful."

"She sounds like she loved life." he was right, she did.

"She loved many things, life just being one." I said as I stared down into the water.

"My mother loved nothing, she was a very sad woman."

"She couldn't have loved nothing, she must have loved you." I couldn't believe that his mother didn't love anything.

"She may have, but I would never know."

_Fragile as a leaf in autumn  
Just falling to the ground  
Without a sound_

It was weird to have this conversation with him when just last week he said that he was going to kill me, but then again, it was nice to talk to someone like this.

"I'm sure she did, a mother always loves her children."

"I suppose." he said, though his voice remained the same, it broke my heart.

It was silent again, and I just couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make me sound like an idiot.

"So tell me, why did you come here today?"

Normally I would have answered that question with a sarcastic remark, but not today.

"Well the rain stopped, so I figured that it would be the perfect day to sit around by the lake." I answered half truthfully, I didn't want to tell him that I came out here to find him, that would seem desperate.

"It does seem like the perfect place to relax at." it surpised me that he said that, I never would have pictured him relaxing, he seemed sort of 'above it'.

"It is, I usually spend every summer here, it helps me just to sit here and think."

"Think about what?" he asked with almost a curious stare, it was kind of cute.

_Crooked little smile on her face  
Tells a tale of grace  
That's all her own_

"About the day I finally leave this place, when I'm free from my father and this whole village. I hate the way that they stare at me, whisper behind my back, but most of all I hate the way that they pity me. I don't need their pity, I just need to leave." I almost went into some sort of trance, it's like the words have been building up, just waiting for the day that someone asked me what I was thinking about my life.

"Pity is for the week, for if people could not pity others, then they would only have themselves to pity." he was right, it was for the weak.

Though I do feel bad for some, I never pity them. Shippou is no exception, I feel bad for him, and I want his life to go well in the future, but I do not pity him for how his life has been so far. I do not like when people pity me, because then I know that they know I need help, but they do not give it, they just give me their fake sympathy, something to make them not feel guilty for leaving me to be beaten for nothing.

"My father thinks that I'm weak, and for a while I started to think the same thing. It took a lot of pain to realize that he was the weak one, and that I was strong for not giving into him, for not being scared of him." it was so easy to talk to him.

_Fragile as a leaf in autumn  
Just falling to the ground  
Without a sound_

"He sounds like the type of man that must make others suffer for him to feel strong. I truly despise people like that."

"He wasn't always like that, he use to be a great man, but he changed the day my mother died. I wish I could trade my life for hers, but it's not possible." I've said it many times, even to my father, but it always just mad me feel worse because I cannot do it, no matter how hard I wish.

"Do not say that. She gave her life to save your's, so she must have wanted you to live more than herself." he was right, and I knew it, but if she was alive everyone would be much happier.

"I know, and I love her for it, but if she were alive then eveyone would be happy. My brother had to grow up calling someone that doesn't care about us mother, and it makes me sick."

My father told us that she was our new mother. To think of her as the woman who gave birth to us, who loved us with every fiber of her being, it made my inside churn in disgust. I hate him for that. I hate him for the fact that he tried to replace her, I could have dealt with the beatings if he wouldn't have tried to make us forget the woman that showered us with so much love every day of her short life.

"Sometimes I feel so much hate for her, for leaving us behind. If I had a choice, I would have died with her that day, so that I would be happy with her in heaven."

"But if you would have died, you would not be here, you would not be apart of something wonderful."

I couldn't help but smile, he remembered what I said, and now he was using it to make me feel....something.

"If you would have died then you would have never of met me." he just had to continue talking.

"I suppose, and you know that would be such a shame, because I would also not be here to annoy you like there's no tomorrow." I casually said, waiting for the reply I knew would come.

"Oh yes, I forgot about that. Then I must say it is a damn shame that you did not meet your demise on that day."

"Meanie."

"No, but I could be." he said, and then smiled at me, yes that's right, he smiled a cocky little smile.

"That's it. For being such a jerk, you HAVE to have a picnic with me, and you must now refer to me as 'The Queen of all the world'." I know it sounded stupid, but he brings out that side of me.

"I will agree to the picnic, but I will not call you that."

I knew he wouldn't agree to the queen thing, but it was fun while it lasted.

"Fine, but one day I will get you to call me that. I'll go and get the food." I said and stood up without even bothering to wait for an answer.

As I walked away I watched him out of the corner of my eye, and what he did shocked me to no end. He smiled, but not his sadistic little smile, or that cocky one, this was a real smile. It made me smile too, just like most things he does. He always suprises me with the way that he acts, he's cold, yet playful. Sarcastic, yet deep and full of supressed emotions. He's a mystery, a mystery that I really want to solve. I want to know more about him, but I'm afraid that if I try to get to know him more, he'll end up pushing me away, and I really don't want that.

"Maybe if I just be his friend he'll eventually tell me."

It was a good plan in theory, but if it would work is another story. Men, demon or human, tend to like to keep their feelings bottled up inside, like it would hurt their ever precious pride to let someone know how they feel. I've know this for a while, my father did the same thing to my mother, and he still does it to my step-mother, but I really could care less about that. She always complains that he doesn't talk to her, I would figure that she wouldn't care either, just as long as she has enough shopping money to get her through the week.

_Spending life dancing  
To her favorite song  
She's a little girl  
With nothing wrong  
And she's all alone_

"She's probably cheating on him anyway." I whispered to myself, not like it did much good.

"Kagome?" a little voice called out, it was low, but I knew who it was right away.

"Shippou, it's okay you can come out." I called back to some bushes I figured he was hiding in.

He proved me right when he came walking out of the bushes that I was now standing right next to.

"I came to find you, you haven't been around in a while." he said as held his arms out to me.  
I held back my laughter as I picked him up.

"I'm sorry, it's been raining for a long time. I'll try to come by more often." I told him as I cuddled him close.

He made it so hard for me to tell him the truth about his father, he was just so innocent, so untouched by the evils of the world. I sighed as I hugged him, he was my responsibility now, and I have to tell him everything soon.

"Would you like to have a picnic with me and a friend?" I asked him after I realized that I was probably chocking him.

"Hai!" he seemed so over joyed, it made me wish I was still that age.

"Then let's go and get the food."

I set him down and he grabbed my hand as we walked back to the house.

"Kagome, what friend are we having a picnic with? Do they like demons?"

I forgot to tell him about Sesshoumaru, I guess I was so happy to have a new friend that I forgot to tell him something that most people would deem very important.

"His name is Sesshoumaru, and he is a demon."

"Is he a nice demon?" the innocent questions of a child.

"Yes, but he has a hard time showing how nice he is." it was hard to answer, but I did it.  
I wasn't lying, he does have a hard time showing just how nice he can be.

Shippou ceased his questions about my newly acquired demon friend, and I was thankful for that. I didn't know how many more questions I could answer, more so because I barely know anything about him. When we got back to the house I told Shippou to wait outside while I got the food, he agreed like usual. It only took me a minute to convince Kaede to let me eat in the woods, I told her that I would be back right after lunch, she let me go with the 'but it's such a beautiful day' bit I laid on her. She could never deny me fresh air and sunlight, she believe it makes for healthy and happy children.

"Come on Shippou, I got the food." I called to the little kitsune as I ran out the back door.  
He ran after me, but it only took him a second to catch up with me, he was really fast.

We walked the rest of the way, just basking in the fresh air of the forest. When we finally got to the river I saw that Sesshoumaru was still there, he actually listened to me and stayed.

"We're back!" I called out to him, waiting for his reaction when he finally notices Shippou.

He just looked at us for a minute before he turned back around, this made me angry to say the least, but I left it slide. I figure he just isn't use to being around very many people, so he probably just doesn't feel like talking or anything.

"Here you go Shippou." I said to him as I handed him a cookie and a sandwich, both of which Kaede made.

As he sat down and ate his food, I walked over to Sesshoumaru and sat down.

"Here." I simply said as I handed him his share of the food.

He took it without looking at me and began to eat.

"Yeah, this is going to be one great friendship."

_A little girl  
With nothing wrong  
And she's all alone_

* * *

_That's the end for now, the next chapter SHOULD be out soon, but I cannot promise anything. Oh, and people, things will be happening soon, but remember...THIS IS MY STORY AND I WILL PACE THINGS HOW I WANT TO PACE THEM. _


	8. I Never Want To See Again

_I know, people want to kill me right now since this update has taken a while, oh well, me no care. Thanks for all of the reviews, I hope you like this though it is shorter._

_WARNING: Err...pretty much everything from all of the other chapters._

_DISCLAIMER: Me no own Inuyasha, The Summer Of My German Soldier, or the song that I used which is sung by Juliana Hatfield._

* * *

Well my asumption of a great friendship that I had a few weeks back was actually right. I spent everyday of the past three weeks with Sesshoumaru. He never talked about himself, or his family, but he was still nice to be around. We still fight all of the time, but it just wouldn't be the same if we didn't.

Shippou has taken a liking to him also, even if Sesshoumaru glares at him like there is no tomorrow. I was having so much fun with my new friend that I almost forgot one major thing. My birthday is in less than a week, I didn't know how I could forget it, but Sesshoumaru had something to do with it. Spending time with him made me forget about how horrible it is at home, because I know that at least for a few hours I'm free from pain, I'm free to be me.

"Just a few more days," I whispered as I looked at myself in the mirror.

My father took his wife and my brother out shopping. Souta needed some new clothes, and his wife just couldn't resist spending my fathers money. I was alone for the most part, Kaede was here, but she was busy with her work and will probably leave as soon as everyone gets home. She doesn't like my father or his wife, she never says anything, but you can tell by the way she looks at them, like she wants to say something but she cannot bring herself to do so. In a way I admire Kaede, she has this way of looking on the bright side of things, something I have trouble doing.

_Draw the shades to close my eyes  
(I never want to see again)  
I found the cost of courage high  
(Sometimes hard to pay)  
I hear the song the sirens sing  
(Calling on the shore for me)  
So sell your soul and try to fly  
(The teather still remains)  
And all the finer things they laid apon my table  
Smiled as their hooks were slowly sinking in_

I am going to see Sesshoumaru today, he always makes me feel better, just being near him makes me feel like something is finally right in the world. I've never felt like this, like I have a real friend that cares about me, even if its only a little. I never had anyone that really cared for me after my mother died, well there is always Souta and Kaede, and of course Shippou, but that is different then what Sesshoumaru means to me. I think of them as my family, my real family, but Sesshoumaru is a friend, one that I will always hold very close to my heart even when he's long gone, because he is taking the time to get to know me and what kind of person that I am.

"Kagome," I heard Kaede call from the living room, she must have been cleaning.

"I'll be right there," I called back as I made my way down the stairs from my room.

I took the stairs two at a time, I only did this when no one was around to tell me not to, or to punish me for being a foolish child.

"Yes?" I asked as soon as I walked into the living room, Kaede was sitting down, probably resting from doing so much work at her age.

"I was told to tell ye that your father will not be home tonight, he decided that it would be fun to visit your grandmother for the night," Kaede informed me as she fanned herself with some newspaper my father had neglected to throw out.

I was shocked, they always took me to see my grandmother, she was the only other person that loved me. She never thought it was my fault that my mother was killed, and she always made my father be nice to me. She will not be happy that he is not bringing me to see her just like I'm not happy. This is the one time that I wanted to go with them, and of course its the one time that they did not let me. They never let me out with them when they went shopping, they said that it would just be a waste of space since I had no reason to be there.

"Okay, I think I'm going to go read," I said, and went back to my room without waiting for an answer.

I sat down on my bed and picked up a book that I had been reading the night before. My step-mother always told me that reading was for girls who could not get boyfriends, but I never paid it any mind. My mother always read to me, and I loved it ever since. I loved how reading put you in a world far away from your own, even if it was just for a little while.

"This would be the perfect time to visit Sesshoumaru," I said to myself when I realized what my father and step-mother being away meant.

I put my book back down and went out my window, though there was no reason for me not to use the backdoor, I suppose I just felt like it. I walked away from the house without looking back as I made my way into the forest. I would have gone and visited Shippou, but he had been feeling ill and did not want to get me sick, though that did not stop me from bringing him some soup and reading him a story the night before.

"I'll visit him later, he is probably sleeping right now," I decided as I walked past the lake and to my home away from home.

"Sesshouaru," I called as I knocked on the door, though I did own this place, it was the polite thing to do.

Like usual though, he was not there. I knocked again, only louder, to make sure, but he still did not answer.

"Where is he now? He always seems to be gone when I come by," I sighed as I sat down infront of the door.

"Does that not tell you something?"

"Yes, it tells me that you are a jerk," and there we are, back to our bickering.

"I could be a real jerk if you ever so wish it," he said as he sat down beside me.

"You know, you're not a jerk, you're an asshole,"

"Why, thank you." he said with that smirk on his face.

Evil, evil smirk, why do you love to tease me so?

_Another pill I'm to consume  
(To make me learn to feel again)  
Followed by another one  
(To make me loose the same)  
God if I could recognize  
(The things to make me whole again)  
And draw this air into my lungs  
(Remember how to breathe)  
For as the curtain rose I danced as I was able  
Felt my deception slowly sinking in_

Against my better judgement though, my mind went to a question I had been asking myself for weeks, and for some reason I felt the need to ask Sesshoumaru.

"Are we friends?" I asked, almost regretting that I did.

"I thought so. Why, do you not think we are?"

"I do, but I want to know what kind of friends." this was getting out of hand now.

"What do you mean?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"I mean, are we the kind of friends that spend time together, but if we are sperated for more than a few months we will forget each other. Or are we good friends, friends that care for each other?" I know I sounded stupid, but I really needed to know, I really needed another good friend.

He was silent for the longest time, I almost thought that he would burst out laughing at me.

"I say that we are good friends," when he said that my heart did backflips.

"Really? I thought so too, but I was not sure what you thought," I had to stop myself before I started talking a mile a minute, I tend to do that when I get really happy.

It was silent again, but this time it was a happy sort of silence, one I could deal with just as long as Sesshoumaru was there with me. It was nice to have another friend, to have something that my father could not take away from me.

"Would you like to go to the lake?" Sesshoumaru asked, which surprised me, he is never the one to suggest things to do.

"Sure," I said and then stood up.

It did not take long to get there, and once we did I ran and jumped into the water. The water felt good on my skin, the day had be unusually hot and it felt good to swim in the cool water.

"You should come it, it feels really good." I said as I shook the wet hair out of my face.

Sesshoumaru seemed to think about it, but I could not tell what he was thinking. He had a small smile on his face, though it was a bit hard to see because of how small it really was. I love it when he smiles though, it fits him better than any smirk or cold look.

"I suppose it would not hurt," he answered before he walked straight into the water.

I smiled when he got in, I knew at that point that we were really becoming good friends. He did not seem to notice the change from hot to cold, or at least he did not show it like usual. I suddenly got a brilliant idea as I was swimming. Sesshoumaru was just standing there, not paying attention to me, so I thought it would be a good idea to splash him, so I did.

"This means war," he declared after he slowly turned and looked at me.

'Brilliant Kagome, just brilliant.' I thought to myself as I waited for him to get me back.

It only took a second for him to splash me back, but his was much bigger since he is bigger than I am. I was soaked again, and was having so much fun as I started to splash him again.

"Sesshoumaru was right, this is a war." I thought as the splashing continued.

We played in the water for the rest of the day, it was so much fun just acting like children. We swam and splashed each other with water before we got out to dry off. We laid on the grass watching the clouds before the sun began to set.

"I should be getting home." I finally had to say, though I did not want to go.

"I will walk you there." Sesshoumaru said as he stood up and then helped me to stand.

"Are you sure?" I asked, not wanting to be a bother to him.

"Hai. Now let us go, it is getting late."

I followed behind Sesshoumaru as we walked out of the forest. He slowed down after a minute so that I could catch up to him, though it did not take long to get back to my house. When we got there I froze, my father was home, I could hear him yelling from all the way outside. I did not want to go in, but I knew that I had too.

"I'll see you later Sesshoumaru. Thank you for walking me home and for the wonderful day," I finally said, though it came out in a whisper.

He just nodded and then walked away. I gulped as I looked at my house, I needed to go in and get this over with, so I walked to my window and went through.

* * *

_Normal POV_

* * *

Sesshoumau stopped just before he walked into the forest, he did not know why but he had to go back. He walked back to the spot where he had left Kagome, only when he got there he could hear her screaming. He walked over and peered into a window, inside he saw Kagome on the floor, blood was all over her arms and a little was on her face.

"She is hurt, but there is nothing I can do." he thought to himself as he continued to watch.

The man he figured was her father was hitting her in the face, then he began to kick her in the stomach.

"This is not how a human family should act,"

_So I turn to you my love  
(For the solace that is there)  
And offer any cherished thing  
(For a slight reprieve)  
I hoped that you might find me here  
(And I could learn to smile again)  
As a balm for these wounds  
(Take away the sting) _

Sesshoumaru knew that he could only watch, to interfere would mean his death. He watched on, happy when the man finally left Kagome to sob on her bedroom floor. He wanted to comfort her, but he pushed those thoughts aside as he walked away, walking back to the forest to try and escape the guilt that he now felt.

"I have to leave. I am not suppose to feel anything for her, I have to leave while I still have a chance,"

With that said Sesshoumaru made his way back to where he had been staying, planning on leaving the next morning, no matter what.

_And as the band did play your body I did cradle  
I should have known that song would have to end _


	9. Happy Now?

_Hey everyone. Sorry for the wait, but school has been really hectic as of late. I had two weeks to do a science fair project, and she expected them to be good. _

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope that you enjoy this, even though it is a bit of a filler chapter.

**WARNING: Sadness. There will not be any lemon until the last chapter, so please be patient.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha or the book "The Summer of My German Soldier" by Bette Greene.**

* * *

The next morning when the sun began to rise, Sesshoumaru took what few things he had and made his way out into the forest.

"I hope she will forgive me."

* * *

**Kagome's POV**

* * *

_Now, don't just walk away  
Pretending everything's ok  
And you don't care about me  
And I know there's just no use  
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care... yeah, yeah, yeah_

When I woke up I had to stop myself from crying out loud. My body ached all over and I could feel the blood on my face, it took me a moment to remember that when I came home last night that my father was waiting for me. Apparently they had decided to come back home instead of staying with my grandparents, and he was not happy that I was gone, and this morning is proof of that.

"At least I get to see Sesshoumaru today." I said as I stood up, it took me a few minutes, but I finally got up and sat on my bed.

It took me another few minutes before I tried to make it to the bathroom, but I finally did. I looked like a mess, I would not be able to go into town for a few more days, maybe longer. My face was not as swollen as it could have been, but it was still purple and puffy. I could still see, and my eyes did not look that bad, so he probably did not punch me very hard, I could not remember exactly what he did, I must have hit my head at some point.

"I hate to see what is going to happen on my birthday." I sighed as I got a washcloth wet and gently washed my face of the dried blood that was caked on.

It hurt to move, but I did so anyway, I did not want to look that bad today, I wanted to be happy despite this. I went back to my room after I washed up, though it took a little work, I think I fell on my right leg at some point, but it did not hurt enough to make me stop walking. I went to my closet and carefully got dressed, this task took three times as long as it usually did, but I was happy when I was finally done. I walked back and sat on my bed before I reached for my brush and worked all of the knots out of my messy hair, finally after a few minutes I was happy with it, the knots were all gone and I could now work my fingers through it.

"I need to get out of here."

I got up again, though my leg protested as much as it could, and I walked out of my room again, taking the steps as fast as I could, but slow enough so that I would not fall on my ass. Kaede was not in the kitchen, so I went out the back door, I did not want to talk to her right now, I just wanted to get to Sesshoumaru. I suppose I feel so safe when I am around him that I want to be with him so that I may think for a little while that I will not be hurt anymore.

"That will never happen, at least not until I am old enough to leave this horrid place." I sighed again, I have been doing that a lot as of late due to my unhappiness with how my family is, though I love my little brother dearly.

I could not imagine life without him, he has been the only light in my dark world of pain, the only thing that had kept me going for so long, and then came Shippou and I had two people to live for. I guess now I can put Sesshoumaru in the category of people that I live for, he is my only real friend that I can talk to about what is going on, not that I do, but I know that I can if I ever need to.

_Could you look me in the eye  
And tell me that you're happy now, ohhh, ohhh  
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,  
Are you happy now?  
Are you happy now? _

I walked down the familiar path, I had been going down it everyday for weeks now, I could almost walk there with my eyes closed. I passed the same trees that I always do, everything was exactly the same, except for the feeling that something was missing. The air just seemed different than it had before, like something important was gone, but I have no idea what it could be. I decided to not think about it anymore, at least not until later, maybe Sesshoumaru felt the same.

I walked the rest of the way, not thinking about anything anymore, just watching the forest, it was so beautiful in the summer time. I finally came upon my hideout, not being able to keep my emotions at bay any longer, all I wanted to do was see my friend, so I ran inside without even bothering to knock first. When I got inside, I looked around, but there was no Sesshoumaru, though this was normal it left a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"He is probably just out in the forest." I tried to convince myself, but it was not working.

I ran back outside, trying to keep myself from going crazy. I knew he was gone, but I still had to look for him, I could not let myself believe the truth, not this time. I ran to the lake, but he was not there, so I ran down the path to my house, calling his name the whole way, but there was no reply to grace my ears. He was really gone. He left my life just as suddenly as she came in to it, and I did not find that fair. I wanted my friend with me, by my side while I was hurting.

"Did someone find him? Did he lie when he said he cared? Did he just use me so that I would not tell someone where he was" all of these questions played through my mind as I ran back to the house.

When I finally got to my house and made it in to the kitchen, the tears that I had been holding back broke through my hold. I was crying so hard that I almost did not make it up the stairs, but as soon as I did I ran to my room and over to my bed. I just laid there, the tears now gone, and thought over everything that had happened since summer began. I met Sesshoumaru, my father became worse than ever, and for the first time I felt like I was wanted on this earth.

"He's gone. He left me, that is all that it can be." I spoke into my pillow, trying not to cry.

I did not want to shed anymore tears, I should have known that he was not going to here here forever, he made that clear when we first met. I could not have actually thought that he would like in such a small and dirty place forever, he needs to be somewhere were he can be himself, and that place is not here.

"He is better off leaving, he has nothing to hold him back. Like I could hold him back, I was just someone for him to talk to, and to bring him food. I was no one special."

After I said that I became mad at myself. I knew that I was someone special to him, he told me himself, and I still believe it, he could not have been lying to me. His eyes told me the truth, and the truth was that he cares about me, like I care about him. I just wish that he was here to tell me these things, I miss him so much already, and if it feels this bad now, how will it feel later?

_You took all there was to take,  
And left me with an empty plate  
And you don't care about it, yeah.  
And I am givin' up this game  
I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care, yeah, yeah yeah, _

* * *

_Could you look me in the eye?  
And tell me that you're happy now, oohh oohhh  
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,  
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh  
Are you happy now?  
Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah._

I had fallen asleep and did not awaken until later that day. Kaede said that lunch had long past, and that she saved me some, but I told her that I was not hungry. I did not lie, I really did not feel like eating, or sleeping, or thinking, or walking...I just wanted to be near him, the one that I had grown to depend on for a single ounce of normalcy.

"I hope that he finds a nice place to live, and that he finds happiness wherever that may be." I thought as I walked out the back door.

It was nice out today, the sun was shining as a warm breeze blew by, but inside I was covered in darkness and sorrow. I missed him, and I wanted him to be happy, but I also wanted myself to be happy. I know it is selfish of me to want him to stay here, but I cannot help how I feel. I thought he liked it here, he was safe, no one knew where he was, but I suppose he did not fit in here. He needed to find a better place where he could live a somewhat normal life, where he did not have to depend on an annoying teenage girl for meals.

"I hope he makes it somewhere nice, maybe a place with the ocean near by so he can go swimming like we use to." I said to myself, still thinking about all of the things that we would do.

We would go swimming, play in the rain, have picnics, or just sit there in silence. The quiet had become something that we both liked, we had talked about it once, how it was so comfortable to just to be near each other, we knew it was because we had become such good friends. We did not have to talk, and that is one thing that I loved. It hurt to have him gone, but I knew with time that it would get better, though I do not know how much time. True, we barely knew each other, we just started getting to know each other. I was starting to see a sweet side to him, under all of that scowling, and I wish I could see it just one more time.

"Stop it. You are being pitiful again." I said, nearly slapping myself, which would have been stupid.

"You do not need him that badly, you barely know him. All you need to do right now if concentrate on your life."

_Do you really have everything you want?  
You can't ever give somethin' you ain't got  
You can't run away from yourself_

I knew that was what I needed to be doing, my birthday was at the end of the week, so I needed to play nice until then, do everything right. I guess with Sesshoumaru around I did not think about it as much, because I knew I would see him the next day and it would not be so bad. I suppose I will just have to take it like I did every other year, it would not be so bad, I still have Shippou.

"Yes, little Shippou."

I had not seen him in a few days, he had a cold from playing in the water too much, so I sent him home with enough food to last him a while, and I told him not to get out of bed unless he was better. He listened to me, though today is one of those days that I wish that he had disobeyed me.

"Kagome-chan"

My lovable little, cannot stay put, kitsune. I turned around to find him standing right behind me, like he had known just the right moment to come and find me. I bent down and picked him up, not saying a word as I hugged him, trying not to cry, I had already done that enough today. When I felt his warm little body against mine, that is when I decided that I should not be sad. I had something very special right here, and I should cherish it.

"How does a picnic sound" I asked as I set Shippou down, smiling at how cute he looked at that moment.

His face lit up with one of the biggest smiles that I had seen in a long time.

"Just you and me" his innocent little voice asked, looking up at me with his big green eyes.

"Yes, just you and me." I said, laughing a bit at his antics.

He smiled even more, if that were possible, before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards my house.

_Could you look me in the eye?  
and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah  
come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,  
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh  
are you happy now?_

* * *

That afternoon had been so much fun. I missed being alone with Shippou, he always seemed more open when it was just the two of us. We ate and played, even went for a quick swim before I had to go home. I promised that we would spend more time with each other, he was thrilled with the news.

"But, I still wish that Sesshoumaru was here with us."

Yes, I still can not stop thinking about him. I guess I was just so comfortable with him around, that it just seems empty now that he is gone.

"No more."

I sighed as I laid down on my bed. I was so tired, my body ached all over, and that only proved to remind me.

"My birthday is in two days."

I almost cried again. I actually forgot about that horrible day, at least for a time, but now the reality of it has come back. I do not even know if I will make it to see my next birthday, if I do it will be some sort of miracle, one that I am almost hoping will not happen.

"Is that a reason why he left"

Did he leave because of my problems? I thought that I had left him out of it enough. No. I am just being paranoid, he left because he had to.

"I just hope he is happy now."

I closed my eyes, hoping that I may have a dream of a day that Sesshoumaru may be back in my life.

_Would you look me in the eye?  
Could you look me in the eye?  
I've had all that I can take  
I'm not about to break  
Cause I'm happy now, ohhh, ohhh  
Are you happy now?_

* * *

_Okay, there is going to be two more chapters. The next one should be out by the end of the month. Thanks for reading._


	10. Solo

_Ah, yes, another late chapter. All I can say is, at least its done and posted. I was sick and without the internet for five or six days now, so be happy that I even felt like writing. I wrote this instead of writing my english paper, which is more important, but since I have an A in english at the moment, I thought writing this instead of that would be okay for the moment._

_I must say though, threatening emails and reviews that complain about my updating are not appreciated. I know, it takes a while for me to update, I have said this many times, but I cannot write any faster than I already do. It would be very much not possible, the life schedule makes it hard to even write as much as I do._

_If people would check my profile then they would see that I post my chapter progress and update it once to twice a week, so you will know about how far I am in each new chapter. I mean if you go there and it says that a chapter is 75 done, than you should get the feeling that it could be updated at any time._

_Anyway, there is one more chapter after this, though it is going to be very short, and the lemon will have to wait for a while, but I will post a link to it in my profile when it is done. I am going to be updating three or four more stories this week, so check my profile for those._

_**WARNING: The same as all of the others, it tends to not change, just my way of saying it does.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, The Summer Of My German Soldier, or the song used in this chapter.**_

* * *

_As beautiful as fire against the evening sky  
you fuel the lost desire- I no longer wanna die_

_Take me by the hand and see beyond the lies  
Strip away the fences - leave me needing, leave me high  
I know you're so solo, but I can't. _

It has come. My birthday is today, and as soon as my father gets home tonight he is going to remind me of why he hates me so much. He always starts off with telling me of what I cost him. That I cost him a life with his one true love, even if all of the other days of the year he allows his wife to call my mother all of those horrible names, and even joins in on it. I use to think that by this time he would have killed me, and many times I had prayed for him to end my life, but now I want to live. I want to get out of here and live my own life away from him and his wife. I would like to be with Souta, but I know that it will not be possible, not until I have been gone for a few years and when I return they will not be able to do anything to me.

I did not want to get out of bed today, I thought that maybe if I rested the whole day then tonight would not be so bad, but I know that it is just whishful thinking. I know that I should have ran away a long time ago, and I had almost done it a few times, but the thing that kept me here was Shippou and Souta. Shippou did not want to leave because he thinks that his father is going to come looking for him, and I did not have the heart to tell him that he was dead, and Souta, well, I just did not have the heart to leave him like that. But now, I think that it might be the right thing, I just need to find a way out of here and find a way to get some money. I know that I have a few skills that could get me a job, but until then I need a way to live.

I also need to find Shippou and try to think of a way to tell him about his father. I know that it will not be easy, but it is something that I have to do so that we both may have a chance to move on and live better lives than what we would staying right where we are. There is only so much that I can do to take care of him without actually being with him. He needs someone to tell him what he can and cannot do, and to be there to make sure that he follows it. As of right now he does what he wants, even though he tries to listen, and if I was living with him then I would be able to keep an eye on him at all times.

Life was never ment to be this hard. I was suppose to grow up with my mother and father, having a happy family, but life decided that it needed to change that happiness into something else, something bad. Life took my mother away from me and left me with a father who hates me and a step-mother that could care less about what happens to me. Shippou is also a victim of life. Just because he was born with special features and strengths, he is hunted like he is some kind of dangerous animal. He is just a little boy, a little boy that deserves to have some good come to him, even through all of this bad.

I jumped up from my bed and found a bag that I been sitting at the bottom of my closet since I was ten. I never had a real need for it, not until today. I opened the bag and set it on my bed before I made my way to a pile of my clean clothes that I had forgotten to put up. I took the clothes and stuffed them in my bag along with a few pictures of my mother and Souta, I also threw in a few pieces of jewelry that was my mothers, I had never worn it before, but since I was leaving I thought it would be better to have it with me.

When I was done packing my bag I wrote a note for Kaede and Souta. I told them how much I loved them both and that I would miss them. I also told them to tell my father and step-mother that I would have been better off being raised by wild animals than by them, and that in a way I would miss my father, but my step-mother was the last person I would ever admit to missing. I signed the note and folded it, I then sat it on my desk and grabbed my bag. I went out my window because I knew that Kaede would be in the kitchen, and I did not want her to try and stop me from leaving. She always told me that my father did love me, but it would take some time for him to go back to the way that he was. She said that he was just hurting so much, because he loved my mother with all of his heart.

I stopped believing her. I knew she was just trying to make me feel better, but all it did was get my hopes up until my next beating. It was sad that I even believed her the first time, that I wanted a normal family so much that I would just ignore everything that I knew so that I could believe that I may get my father back.

"Sad and pathetic," I said to myself as I took one last look at the only home that I have ever known.

I knew that this would be the single most important thing that I would ever do, and it scared me. I would be leaving everything that I have ever known and go out on my own, with a youkai child no less, and try to live. This would prove to be an adventure.

* * *

I looked around the forest for Shippou, calling his name. He was not at home when I went by, and that scared me to no end. I warned him about going out alone, and he never seemed to listen to me. This is what I always worried about with him, he does not know exactly what is going on in the world. I tried to keep him safe, and that ment not telling him some things that I should have. If anything happened to him, then I do not know what I would do. He has been my everything for so long, one of the only reasons to wake up every morning. I cannot lose him.

"Shippou! Where are you!" I called out again, but there was still no answer.

Usually when I call for him, he would come running, his little arms open, ready for a hug. But today, he just simply is not here. I am not sure what to think, I want to believe that he is fine, maybe just gone for a walk and fell asleep somewhere, but I have this sinking feeling that he is not alright. I wish this war with the youkai would just end, it would make life much easier. Ah, the life thing again. Life has more twists and turns than some mystery novel, and I am getting sick of it.

"Shippou!" I called out again, tears now forming in my eyes.

I did not want to lose him. I all of a sudden just broke down, dropping to my knees on the forest floor. I could not help but cry, I could not stop the tears from flowing, no matter how much I wanted them to.

_Take me away - cause I dont wanna lose control  
Take me away- cause I don't wanna lose it all _

_Relieved of all the pain you let me see again  
Delievered from my shame now and I am lost for what to say  
Cleansed and pure and weak, I suffer when I dream._

"Kagome-chan? Are you alright?"

It was him, my little Shippou. I liked up from my spot on the group, right up into his little fact. He looked so worried about me, and it made me smile. I grabbed him and hugged him close to me.

"Hai, I'm fine. I was just worried when I could not find you," I said, drying my tears as I hugged him even closer to me.

I finally let him go after another minute or so, he looked so innocent. I never wanted to see him tainted by anything, I just want good things for him, but I knew that telling him about his father would crush him, but I have to do it.

"Shippou, there is something that I have to tell you, and I know that it will make you sad, but you need to know,"

It was so hard to look into his eyes and say this, I wanted to stop right there and just say nevermind, I came so close, but I knew that I needed to tell him sooner or later, and sooner is much better than later.

"What is it Kagome?"

"It is something that I should have told you a long time ago. Shippou, I know that you think that your father will be back soon, but the truth is, he died right after he was captured,"

It was the hardest thing in the world to do, but I did it. He looked so crushed right after I said it, but he had yet to start crying. It was like he was trying to hold all of his feelings in, and it was working, until a single tear rolled down his cheek. All of a sudden he grabbed on to me and started crying his eyes out, it reminded me of when my mother died. I stayed in my grandfathers arms for hours, just crying and crying until I could not cry anymore.

"Why?" was the only thing I could hear him saying through his sobs, and I did not know how to answer it.

He had lost his mother and father, and he is still just a young child. I do not know how to answer a question that I have asked myself on many occasions. I never got the answer that I wanted, and I do not think that I can find the answer by myself.

"Because, the world is a place filled with cruel people that do not mind doing bad things, just as long as they are not the ones being hurt because of it. They are cowards that do not care about anyone else," it was the only thing that I could think of to tell him, and I thinl in a way that I was answering my own question.

I held him for a while longer as he cried over the loss of his father, after a while he fell asleep, so I carried him back to his home so that he could sleep while I packed his things. We had to leave soon, my father would be looking for me once he got home.

Shippou slept on as I packed his few clothes and some food that I had brought the day before. We would need it until I could get some money to buy more. When I was done packing everything I watched Shippou sleep for a little while longer, he needed the rest. I figured that we could spare a little bit of time, afterall, once we got out of here we could move fairly fast. I knew this place betetr than my father did, hell, I knew it better than most people that lived in town. I have been wandering around since I was old enough to walk, I knew ways out of here that no one else would be able to follow.

I could not help but to think of Sesshoumaru and how he had gotten out of town without anyone seeing him, but then again, he is a youkai. Even with his strength weakened, he could still move around better than most humans. It was hard not to think about him though, he had been gone for what seemed like forever, and I miss him. I have been missing him from the second that I realixed he was gone. He was my only real friend, not family, but a friend. I looked out the window and saw that the sun was brightter than it was when I first got here, which ment that it was around lunch time and that we would need to be heading out now. I walked over to where Shippou was sleeping and lightly shook his shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked up at me, so I smiled at him and reached down and picked him up.

"How about we go on a little trip?" I had never talked to him about it before, and if he did not want to go, then I would have to stay here with him.

"Where to?"

A good question. I had not thought about that before. There were a lot of places that we could go, but I did not pick one.

"Anywhere but here," it seemed like the perfect answer, because it was the truth.

"Okay,"

We made our way through the forest, the only place that gave me any comfort since my mother passed away. I would miss it, and in a way I would miss my home and my room, but then again it was a relief to leave. No more beatings and no more having to listen to the step-monster call my mother those names. It is the begining of a new reality for me and Shippou, and who knows, maybe once I am gone for good my father will realize what he lost and he will feel guilty that he drove me away.

Shippou rode on my back as I walked as fast as I could through the trees. I knew that he was till tired and I did not want him to slow us down until we got far enough away. He would have to use his powers to hide his youkai features from everyone, but it would not be a problem since we are going to stay out of towns as much as we can. We will hide until this stupid war is over, and then, we can live like normal people, right out in the open.

_I need to find a purpose- I need to feel you needing me._

* * *

By the time we got to the otherside of the forest it was already getting dark. The forest had always seemed to go on forever, I had only made it to the otherside a few times, and that was only when my father and step-mother were gone and Kaede was watching me for the night. She would fall sleep before I even had to be home, so she never knew when I would come in late. I did not know which way to go after this, it was like a fork in the road, and if I went the wrong way then everything I went through was for nothing. When I got to the forest edge I still did not know which way to go. To the right was town, so I knew not to go that way. So which was it, to the left or keep going straight?

"If you go left then you end up at a dead end, and if you go straight then you end up at another forest. It really is quite lovely, a nice pond and some very nice fruit trees,"

I spun around as fast as I could, almost falling while doing so, but not caring when I saw who was standing behind me.

"Sesshoumaru," it was him, he had come back, well that, or he never really left.

"I remembered that I never said thank you for your help,"

I did not know if he was serious or if he was just making an excuse to have come back here, but either way, I was happy to see him. I smiled as I sat Shippou down, and then ran and hugged him. He seemed surprised, but after a second he hugged me back.

"You are very welcome," I whispered to him as I hugged him as hard as I could, I did not want to let go just incase this was just a dream.

I finally let go of him, and I looked up into his eyes, he was still there. This was not a dream, and that made me want to smile even more than I already was. He came back, for what reason I do not know why, but that he came back was all that I cared about.

_I know you're so solo, but I can't. _

"Where are you going to now?" I know I really should not ask, for it was none of my business, but I could not stop myself.

"I do not know as of yet. Where are you going?"

Who knew those words could cause me to feel the happiest that I have been in a very long time.

"I am not sure, but maybe we could figure it out together,"

_Take me away - cause I dont wanna lose control  
Take me away- cause I don't wanna lose it all _

_Pure and weak, I suffer when I dream  
Cleansed of me, I suffer when I dream_

_  
Because I want you to stay, you take away the pain  
I want you to stay, I need you here to keep me sane _

_Take me away - cause I dont wanna lose control  
Take me away- cause I don't wanna lose it all _

_I want you to stay- you take away the pain  
I want you to stay- I need you here to keep me sane_

* * *

_Heh, yeah, not that great, The last chapter is already done, it just needs to be looked over to make sure that I tied everything together, we would not want any loose ends hanging around. I will answer some questions in the next chapter, just some things that have been asked through the chapters that I kept forgetting to answer. I would have put this as the last chapter, but I could not force myself to write anymore. I wrote the last chapter the day after I wrote this, and now that I look at it, it makes more sense to have them seperated. Plus, I really wanted to make some people mad, sorry I had to do this to the nice reviewers, but the bad reviewers needed to be punished for being greedy and mean. The last chapter will be up within a day or two.._


	11. Swing Life Away

_This is the end. Yes, sad I know, but it is what it is and it has to end. I am sorry that it has taken, oh, about a year to update, things came up and I could not write for a long while._

_Okay, now there was a question about what year the story takes place in. I figure it would be between 1920 and 1930...not sure on an exact date or anything, but that should give you an idea. _

_I am not sure about any other questions, I have not read the reviews in a while due to lack of time, but I will read them and answer more questions on here when I have more time._

**WARNING: Its the end, anough said.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own everything but the basic plot and the characters, oh yes, says alot about me doesn't it? Oh yes, and I do not own the song "Swing Life Away" by Rise Against.**

_**

* * *

**_

_**Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?  
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?  
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost? **_

_The years from that moment went by so fast that I could not even believe it myself. Sesshoumaru, Shippou, and myself lived deep in a forest a few towns over. No one ever found us, and we did not come out until the war between youkai and humans was over ,and Sesshoumaru and I could finally get married. We had fallen in love by the end of the summer, and we are still in love with each other until this very day. We now live in an average sized house two towns over from where I had once called home. I spend my days watching my children grow up, all four of them. Shippou is, and will always be, my oldest son. My daughters come next, each more beautiful then I could have ever imagined. My son is the youngest, and curious as anyone could possibly be, always asking questions. Sesshoumaru is a wonderful father and husband, I could not have asked for a better man to share the rest of my life with. He saved me when I thought I could not be saved, he helped give me the courage to leave my father and to make a new life for myself. He is my rock and I love him more than words can describe. He supported me when I needed it, and even to this day he supports my decision to skip my fathers funeral._

_I had not been in contact with my father since the day I left, but I have spoken to Souta a few times through the years, he was the one that told me when our father had passed away. I cried that night, though I do not know why, he did not deserve my tears, but he got them anyway. I was told when the funeral was, but I did not go, I could not bring myself to do that. Maybe one day I will visit his grave site, but as of right now I cannot bring myself to make that trip. I have not forgiven my father for all of the things that he has done, and I doubt that I will ever be able to, but I do hope that one day it will not control my life so much. He did not even know about my children before he died, he did not deserve to know about them, not with all of the things that he has done. I know that my mother would not want me to act this way, she would want me to forgive him, but I am far from perfect and she has always known that._

_I began writing stories for Shippou and my other children when they could not sleep, and now I am writing the story of my life in the hopes that someone will read it and gain some sort of courage from it. I know, a bit of a far-out idea, but it makes me feel better to think that I may help some other girl in the same situation._

_So this is my life story, filled to the brim with all of the ugly truths about everything that I had to deal with as I tried to raise myself. It was a wonderful life in the beginning, and though it got off track, the end is turning out to be rather wonderful._

_**I'll show you mine if you show me yours first  
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse  
Let's un-write these pages and replace them with our own words**_

* * *

**Flashback**

* * *

"**Sesshoumaru, what are we doing out here?" I asked the man that I had grown to love as we made our way through the forest that we called home.**

**He did not answer, he just kept walking through the trees, dragging me behind him. He seemed so distracted, and I do not think that I was making it any better.**

"**Are we going back soon? I do not want to leave Shippou alone too long," **

**Yes, I never learn my lesson with him, but I know that is why he loves me.**

"**He will be fine for a few hours,"**

**Obviously he still needs some time to actually get to know him, because he could get the whole town running after him in a few hours, but I will trust his judgment this one time.**

"**If you say so," I said as I continued to let him drag me around.**

**We walked for at least another ten minutes before Sesshoumaru stopped. I almost ran into him when he did stop, he did not give me any warning and I was not paying attention.**

"**Heh, sorry," I said, scratching my head for added effect.**

"**Just close your eyes," was all he said.**

**I did what he asked and closed my eyes, but he put his hand over my eyes anyway, he knows me all too well. He walked beside me, and after another few minutes we stopped again. I could hear water, so I knew that we were either by a river or a lake, but I had not seen one this far out into the woods before. Of course, I spend most of my days at home, not trusting this new forest, you never know who is out youkai hunting.**

"**You can open your eyes now," I heard Sesshoumaru say right before he removed his hand.**

**I opened my eyes and looked around, not believing what I was seeing. Right in front of me was the most beautiful waterfall that I have ever seen. Right by the water was a picnic that I could only assume Sesshoumaru had set up.**

"**This is amazing," I said, still shocked at how romantic Sesshoumaru was being all of a sudden.**

**Sesshoumaru led me to where the food was set up, me looking around as we walked further into this majestic place. We sat down and I could not help but smile at the picture that I knew we made. It is hard to believe that only a year ago I was living with an abusive family and Sesshoumaru was hiding to save his life. We are still hiding, but it does not really seem like it at times like these. We ate in silence, I was not sure of what to say, though there was so much that I could think of, it all just sounded to childish at a time like this.**

_**We live on front porches and swing life away,  
We get by just fine here on minimum wage  
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,  
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand**_

"**Kagome, I want to ask you something,"**

**I looked up from my food when I heard him speak, his voice seemed a bit shaky, like he was trying to stay calm, but he just couldn't. Normally he would just come right out and ask me whatever it was that he wanted to ask, he was not a shy person, but today he had been acting differently than normal.**

"**What is it Sesshoumaru?" I was getting a bit worried, I did not know what it could be, and it scared me when I thought about everything that he could say.**

**Without saying anything he stood up and walked closer to me, kneeling down next to me when he got close enough. He leaned over and whispered into my ear.**

"**Will you marry me?"**

"**Yes," I whispered back into his ear as I hugged him as tight as I could.**

* * *

**End Flashback**

* * *

I put my pen and paper away, I had the last page of my book done, and I felt like a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was nice to know that I had finished something so major in my life. Sesshoumaru had taken the children swimming so that I could work, and now that they are gone and I am done, I miss them. My life had changed so much, but it was all for the best and I could not imagine not living this life.

"Mom, is this the life that I was meant to live? Did I have to go through all of that pain to finally have some peace?"

I had been wondering that for so long, never knowing if I would get an answer, and knowing that I did not need one because I already knew. With a smile now on my face, I got up from the desk that Sesshoumaru had built for me and made my way outside towards the waterfall. Sesshoumaru always took the children there to catch fish, they loved to try and catch them with their bare hands. It was such a beautiful day, everything seemed like a dream out here, even the rain was amazing. There was not a day that went by when I was not happy that we were out here.

When I finally reached the waterfall I could hear the squeals and giggles of my children, so I stood back and watched them. They looked so happy, all five of them, just splashing around in the water like they did not have a care in the world.

"I get it now mom, you are right, this is the greatest thing in life,"

Watching my children grow is why I am here, to make sure that they do not go through anything that I have been through. This is why I was put through all of that pain, so that they would grow up with love and not hate.

"I get it now,"

"What do you get mommy?"

I had been so caught up in my thinking that I did not notice that my oldest daughter come up behind me. I turned around and smiled down at her.

"Nothing. Why don't we go catch some fish?" I asked, taking her little hand into mine.

"Okay!" she squealed as she pulled me to the water.

__

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move  
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon  
So let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

* * *

Sesshoumaru and Kagome spent the rest of their lives watching their children grow. They grew old together, making every second of their life count. Their children all grew up to get married and have families of their own, but not before graduating from high school and starting their careers.

Kagome never went to her fathers grave, she decided that she was over it, and did not need to see her father again. She gave up on that long ago and she could live with her decision. Souta also grew up and got married, moving away from his step-mother as soon as he could. He could never forgive her for being part of the reason that his sister left. He visits Kagome once a month, his children having grown up with hers.

Kagome's book was published and read by many, it was one of her biggest accomplishments, but still not her biggest, which was raising a wonderful family.

Kagome lived her life the way that she had always wanted to, and with the man she loved.

__

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know  
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world  
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,  
We get by just fine here on minimum wage  
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,  
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

* * *

_I will end up rewrting this, but I thought that it was time that I ended it. I had a somewhat okay ending for it, but when my computer crashed I lost it. I will not have a sequel, and I will try to update my other stories soon. I am sorry about not answering reviews, I will do that through emails when I have some time. Thank you for reading this and reviewing, and sticking by it even when it (in my opinion) sucked. _

_I hope that the ending was okay, though I know not the best. The lemon will be on other sites, I decided not to put it here._

_Thanks for reading._


End file.
